In some deluded part of my brain I actually believed that we would be that couple. You know, the couple that uses the phrase “All he had to do was look at me and I got pregnant”. I am not sure why I believed this. Maybe I was hopeful, maybe I was convinced that something had to go my way for once, mostly I think I was in denial. I have never had regular periods. During high school we chalked it up to being young, surely it was something that would correct itself if time. When I was 18 I was put on birth control for a hormone imbalance that gave me grueling headaches. A hormone imbalance? I should have asked more questions then. But I didn’t. As I write this it has been over 10 months since we started trying. I am still not pregnant.
After coming off birth control in December of 2010 I went 107 days without a period. At first I was convinced I was pregnant. That it had actually happened. Many pregnancy test and blood draws later it was certain that I was indeed not pregnant. It took 3 months for a doctor to take me seriously. They all just said that after being on birth control so long, it was normal for your cycle to be irregular. Gee, thanks Doc.
Finally my gynecologist ordered some tests. A blood test and pelvic ultrasound confirmed what I had come to believe. I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and do not ovulate on my own. Very helpful when trying to get pregnant as you can imagine. J also had a semen analysis, but that came back good. This was my fault. After all the tests were run we had a game plan. We were going to use Clomid to make me ovulate. I was excited. I had read about so many women that had conceived on clomid. This was going to work! Plus my doctor had assured me that I was on the low end of the PCOS spectrum and that she didn’t think it would take much to get me pregnant. Note to all doctors: Never say this.
We proceeded to take Clomid for 3 cycles. Each cycle was harder than the last. 1st cycle – no ovulation. 2nd cycle – ovulation confirmed through temperature charting, but incomplete blood results. 3rd cycle – ovulation confirmed through temperature charting, but blood results say no ovulation. Then the biggest blow. After only 3 cycles on clomid, none of which were at maximum dosage, my doctor pretty much washed her hands of me and referred me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist.
Before seeing the RE I had a rather painful HSG test done to confirm that my tubes were not blocked. They are open and healthy, but while looking through the images my RE determined that there is a small bubble in my uterus that could just be an air bubble, or it could be a polyp. If it is a polyp then it must be removed by procedure similar to a D&C after a miscarriage. To determine whether or not it is a polyp I need to have a water sonogram test which is very similar to a HSG test. Awesome, I loved it the first time. My RE also discovered that my body does attempt to ovulate (gotta give it some credit), it makes the eggs, it just does not release them. At my last pelvic ultrasound I had 2 large follicles on my right ovary. In order to shrink them I was put on birth control to suppress the hormones that make them grow. Birth Control. Just what every hopeful mother wants.
And now we wait. This month will bring us the water sonogram, a possible D&C, and more pelvic ultrasounds to hopefully see shrinking follicles. I want to try to get everything done before my birth control pack is finished. I don’t want to waste another month playing the waiting game. I am ready to see that second line on a pregnancy test. I am starting to believe that it is mythical. Like a unicorn. As our 1 year mark approaches I start to feel all the more rushed. When will it be our turn?