This is your brain on drugs

Before this I whole thing I had only had one other experience with anesthesia. That was when I was 20 and had my wisdom teeth out. That whole procedure was so easy and I found the anesthesia to be kinda fun. I thought it was crazy that he injected something into my iv, started counting down from 10, and by 8 I was gone. The next thing I knew I was being pushed into the car by a nurse and my mom was trying to pull from the other side. Too funny.

This time it was a completely different story. I keep trying to back track to the surgery and the following hours and it kind of disturbs me how little I remember. I was completely terrified of seeing the OR. I thought that the sight of the sterile room with doctors in gowns and masks would completely throw me over the edge. When we were in the “waiting” room they explained that I would not be knocked out till after we arrived in the OR and I was so scared. I shouldn’t have worried though because right after J left they gave me something to “relax” me. I remember thinking that I hope I wasn’t going to have a hard time with the breathing tube like the guy across from me who had just come out of surgery.

Then nothing.

Next thing I remember is being woken up at 6:30am by the nurse checking my vitals. It is really unnerving waking up in a room, not knowing how you got there, and with your underwear and bra neatly folded on the foot of the bed when you know YOU didn’t take them off. Talk about awkward.

And this my friends, in my drugged up haze, is the moment that I decided to post on Facebook. Note to anyone going into surgery, have someone take away your phone until you are sobered up. The message wasn’t that horrible, it definitely could have been worse, but it was kind of cryptic. Needless to say I got A LOT of responses.

Because, even though I did not remember coming out of surgery, having J feed me ice chips with a spoon, or talking to the doctor about what had happened, I KNEW my ovary was gone. And I felt the need to share that with the world. I don’t know how I remembered that, I still have no recollection of talking to the doctor about it but apparently it stuck through the cloudiness of the anesthesia.

THIS is why I don’t do drugs. Because I know I am not  a rational person and because I really hate this black area where I don’t remember things. I mean how do I really know what happened? I don’t. And I never will. Before going in I asked the anesthesiologist to make sure I stayed asleep. Well done to him! He did a good job.

P.S. Welcome to all those here from ICLW! In case you’re lost, one week ago today I went into the ER and had to have my right ovary removed due to Ovarian Torsion. Slowly but surely recovering. Happy ICLW to everyone!



Filed under Crazy? I'm not crazy!, Just my luck, Sickness

11 responses to “This is your brain on drugs

  1. This is like an extreme version of drunk dialing. I’m guilty of that 🙂 I know what you mean though – I will now always associate anesthesia with my d&cs post-loss and that time I was SO GRATEFUL not to remember a damn thing.
    How are you doing, pain-wise?

    • Doing better and better. The pain is definitely going away, I’m mostly just sore and weak right now. I went out to get my haircut yesterday and had to come home and take a nap. Should make going back to work very interesting.

  2. Oh…good ol’ anesthesia! I have only been on it once (also for wisdom teeth) and I don’t even think I made it to counting. I remember saying…”Oh this feels ni-” and I was out. Ha ha!

    I have to admit I’m curious to know exactly what your FB status said but I hope you’re having a quick and comfortable recovery! 🙂

  3. Hope you continue to make that recovery as quickly as possible!

  4. Ha! Yeah, wisdom teeth is my only experience with anesthesia and it was *funny*. I woke up singing along to the radio they had on in the room while they worked on me. Everyone in the room laughed! Glad you are recovering and that the anesthesia did its job (even a little too well).

  5. veetamia

    I had anesthesia 2-ish months ago for the egg extraction and even know I get slightly anxious when I think back on it and experience the same feeling of not being in control of what happened to my body – did not like the experience at all! Hope you are feeling better!

  6. Just another reason why Facebook should be dead. DEAD!

    I hope you are home and recovering well. You’ve been in my thoughts a tremendous amount the last few days.

  7. Just after my ER, I managed to get a hold of my cell phone unsupervised and send out a couple of texts to some friends who luckily already knew what was going on. But my husband and I agreed that he should confiscate it from me next time, just in case.

  8. Sounds like when a friend decided to blog after she had been imbibing a bit. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that and I hope you recover quickly.

    ICLW #66

  9. Hi–Here from LFCA. So sorry to hear about your surgery and loss of your tube/ovary. A horrible thing to have happen regardless, but especially while TTC. 😦 I hope you are recovering quickly.

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