I knew it. I knew this was going to happen when I saw the spotting. During my TWW I was starving all the time and like the naive person I am I assumed that I was pregnant. So I ate. And ate and ate and ate. I’m so mad at myself right now that I could scream. My weight is up. For the last year I’ve yo-yoed through my weight. I’ve gone up to the high point then down 10lbs then back up again. Now I am at the high point. Even at the low point I am not satisfied with my body but to be at the high point again is so frustrating.
I feel bad about myself. I hate my clothes and how they fit. I hate shopping because the things I want to wear don’t look right on me. I want to be able to wear shorts this summer and not feel like my thighs are taking over the world.
Last week I started a new exercise regime and I actually stuck to it. We worked out 5 x last week. Sometimes it was only 15min sometimes it was much longer, but the point is to at least do it long enough to get my heart rate up and feel like I got some decent cardio time in.
I was really happy about it until I stepped on that stupid scale. So now in addition to the new workout plan I have to cut down what I eat. That is my biggest problem, I like food. I like food a lot. I have never been a big eater, I just eat crap. I thought maybe I could get away with just exercising but apparently I was wrong. Sigh. Bring on the vegetables.
In a desperate attempt to feel better about myself I spontaneously cut my bangs this morning. Still can’t decide if that was a good idea or not.