Feeling the weight of it all…literally

I knew it. I knew this was going to happen when I saw the spotting. During my TWW I was starving all the time and like the naive person I am I assumed that I was pregnant. So I ate. And ate and ate and ate. I’m so mad at myself right now that I could scream. My weight is up. For the last year I’ve yo-yoed through my weight. I’ve gone up to the high point then down 10lbs then back up again. Now I am at the high point. Even at the low point I am not satisfied with my body but to be at the high point again is so frustrating.

I feel bad about myself. I hate my clothes and how they fit. I hate shopping because the things I want to wear don’t look right on me. I want to be able to wear shorts this summer and not feel like my thighs are taking over the world.

Last week I started a new exercise regime and I actually stuck to it. We worked out 5 x last week. Sometimes it was only 15min sometimes it was much longer, but the point is to at least do it long enough to get my heart rate up and feel like I got some decent cardio time in.

I was really happy about it until I stepped on that stupid scale. So now in addition to the new workout plan I have to cut down what I eat. That is my biggest problem, I like food. I like food a lot. I have never been a big eater, I just eat crap. I thought maybe I could get away with just exercising but apparently I was wrong. Sigh. Bring on the vegetables.

In a desperate attempt to feel better about myself I spontaneously cut my bangs this morning. Still can’t decide if that was a good idea or not.



Filed under Depression, Living Life

19 responses to “Feeling the weight of it all…literally

  1. 35life

    So sorry you’re feeling down. I know exactly what you mean about thinking you are and then wanting to kick yourself later. I am up 10 pounds since September when at that time I was getting pretty darn close to my reasonable goal weight. You have the right idea though. Hang in there!

  2. Remember those hot pants you encouraged me to try on last week? I did. And I got them on as far as my ankles. Then I got depressed and went to Chipotle.

    I’ll be your cheerleader if you’ll be mine.

  3. I fake pregnancy eat all the time. And i know what you’re going through with the struggle to balance healthy eating/living and loving food! I stormed out of a dressing room in tears today, as a matter of fact. All I can say is that it will all be insignificant when we get our BFPs!

  4. babysocks2008

    I feel you on weight issue. I hate my scale with the heat of 10,000 white hot suns. Have you tried the biggest loser workout videos? I really like them.

    • I have done Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. It made me hate her. Its a good workout but I can’t stand listening to her say the same things day after day. Maybe I just need to put the TV on mute and listen to music while following along.

  5. Mel

    It is so hard. Weight comes on so easily and off with so much difficulty. Sending a hug.

  6. I know where you’re coming from on this. I’m at my high point too. I hate the fact my clothes don’t fit and it impedes my movement. Give yourself some credit for the new work-out routine. It’s only been a week and results take a little bit of time. In the meantime, try not to beat yourself up. And know that I’m hitting the veggies full force with you.

  7. When I needed to lose weight the low-sugar / gluten diet was really really helpful to me. I read somewhere women with PCOS are more sensitive to sugar, including sugar in things like bread, potatoes, etc. I don’t know if that’s useful to you or not 😦

    Good luck, I hate being at the top end of my usual weight range. 😦 😦

  8. Im 10lbs above my comfort zone as well. It doesn’t seem so bad though when compared to my OHSS self that added an extra 15lbs on top of that 10 though.

    Ugh, my eyes almost popped out of my skull on that one.

  9. veetamia

    Hopefully the bangs were a good thing πŸ˜‰ I did that too about two months ago when I was feeling down (after watching a youtube DYI…still had to visit a stylist later to fix it lol)

    • Yeah I just need to play with them. I did them myself too but then again I am a hairstylist, just an out of practice one. Hopefully I didn’t screw them up too bad.

  10. So sorry you feeling like this ((hugs)) keep working out, I feel better about myself after spending time at the gym without loosing anything. But I feel you, I love to “eat” the hurt away.

    Hang in there

  11. I think a lot of us just love to eat. I know I am totally guilty of it. Keep working out. I know you would love to lose weight, but it will make you feel better all around. I know for me it makes me sleep so much better. Hugz!

  12. Ha! I just signed up to the gym again, my body and I are not friends right now. But food – I definitely need some of the comfort food but have found with regular exercise comes healthier eating as well. But it’s hard.

  13. Uggh I totally relate to this. With each pregnancy (and subsequent miscarriage) I gain and fight so hard to lose the same 10-15 pounds. This time it just doesn’t want to come off.

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