The 50/50 Club

Today I had the same sort of spotting that I did yesterday. I hadn’t had this much bleeding that lasted this long in the short time I’ve been pregnant. It seemed like it was not getting any lighter, if anything it was getting a bit heavier. My OB’s office closes early on Fridays so I called the Urgent Care and explained my situation.

I went in and had a vaginal exam done by one of the Doctors. She didn’t need to say anything, the grave look on her face was enough for me to burst into tears (pregnancy hormones). She said that my cervix is closed, but that there is blood coming from it, more than what should be. She got my OB’s number and called her. They then advised me to go to the ER.

I called J in a panic and we headed to the ER. We waited for almost 2 hours to even get admitted. When we got in and finally saw the ER doctor he gave us the “really they should not of sent you here” kind of look. And he was right. At this point I am only 5+4 weeks. The chances of seeing anything on an ultrasound are small. Especially when my HCG levels have not exactly been through the roof. And even if they could tell me that I was going to miscarry what are they gonna do about it? Nothing. There is nothing they can do.

But he still had me go in for an ultrasound. The technician made me feel like I made the whole pregnancy up by repeatedly asking me if I was sure about the date of my last menstrual cycle and if I had gotten a blood test to confirm. Why yes I have! 3 of them! I’m not crazy, lady!

Obviously they didn’t see anything. Well in the doctors words there could be something there…but its just to early to tell. So they drew blood to test my HCG levels. And my levels are going up.

But not fast enough.

Beta #4 HCG=937

That is a doubling time of 78 hours. They do not test progesterone in the ER.

So I am now in the 50/50 Club, the doctor said. There is a 50% chance that I will miscarry. There is a 50% chance that everything will be fine. They have no way to tell…all we can do is wait.

I can tell you already I have a shrewd suspicion which way this will go. My HCG is not doubling, I am spotting pretty frequently, and my levels have always been on the low side.

Follow up blood draw on Monday but things aren’t looking good.



Filed under Betas, Depression, First Trimester, Infertility, Just my luck

26 responses to “The 50/50 Club

  1. I burst into tears when i started reading this. I’m hoping with my whole heart that they are wrong and that it’s just spotting.

    I’m so very sorry that you’ve been treated this way. That’s completely awful. Shame on them for being so cruel.

    I’m holding you in my heart tonight. And hoping. Hoping with my entire being that everything will be okay.

  2. Tracy

    Ugh. I’m so sorry you are in this limbo place. Hang in there, Monday will be here soon and try to keep your spirits up. Hoping you are wrapped up in your hubby’s arms.

  3. amy

    I am so sorry. Wishing you a restful and peaceful weekend and good news next week.

  4. veetamia

    I hope that you are on the good 50 side!! You deserve to have this dream realize. So sorry you are having to go through this experience and not having good support from the medical team – that is not ok. Sending you hugs and good wishes! Be strong

  5. Trish I am so so sorry. You must feel so scared right now. My heart aches thinking about the limbo you must feel right now, its just not fair. I’ll keep you in my thoughts all weekend and hope that everything can work out. Hang in there. Xoxo

  6. Oh Trisha, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. And damn those medics! Guess its too much to ask for a bit of sensitivity these days 😦

    Thinking of you, praying for you and hoping for great news on Monday.

    *Beeeeeg hug*

  7. DandelionBreeze... previously NYMum

    Oh Trisha… thinking of you with all my heart and hoping you’re in the good 50% xo

  8. I’m so sorry that things are uncertain. My fervent wish is that you are in the positive 50%. My thoughts will be with you this weekend.

  9. I am so sorry you are going through this. I have high hopes for you. Sending you big hugs.

  10. This makes me so mad! Thinking about you as you survive the weekend and hoping something good happens on Monday.

  11. I’m hoping and wishing and praying that you are in the good 50%.
    A friend of mine bled the entire time she was pregnant, I know that doesn’t offer any reassurance.
    I’ll be thinking about you until your next post!


  12. So sorry you’re in limbo, it’s the worst place to be =(

  13. Oh no. I am so sorry to hear this. Sending hugs and prayers your way!
    Come on, stick, baby, stick!

  14. No. Just no. I wont believe this for you. I am so sorry you are having to go through this and I deeply truly hope that after the weekend you will have good news. Why oh why won’t this dang roller coaster just stop. You have all my thoughts friend.

  15. I’m so sorry this is happening. I wish the best for you. Hang in there and hold tight to those who love you.

  16. Sending prayers up to every kind of god there is that this baby stays. And sending you another big hug in the meantime.

  17. Shelley

    I’m so very sorry to see you on this roller coaster. I’ve been on it twice myself and am still waiting to make it into the good 50. I know when it was me, I appreciated positivity more than those who were tying to temper my expectations. So let me just say, 50% is a damn good chance. Numbers can start slow, and spotting can mean nothing. Sending sticky thoughts your way.

  18. It must be so scary. I am hoping and praying everything is fine.

  19. Sending you good thoughts!!!!!! This is the worst kind of limbo. Take care of yourself this weekend…!

  20. Oh no Trisha – I am so sorry. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you anyway.Please let this work.

  21. JB

    I’m so sorry yoou’re going through this. It’s a horrid kind of limbo, as the comments say above. Praying for you. (found you through ICLW)

  22. ::big hug:: I’m going to hope and pray for the best. I’m so so so sorry you are having to go through this. You deseve nothing less than a completely healthy and totally uneventful pregnancy.

  23. Tami

    I’m here with you. Quietly hoping. So very hard.

  24. KT

    I’m keeping everything crossed for your blood draw today!!

  25. I’ve been thinking about you ALL day today. Praying so very hard for you, Trisha.

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