Monthly Archives: June 2012

5 Weeks

I argued with myself about posting bump updates so early. I only got one in last time before things went horribly wrong. However I’m going the positive route and decided I’m going to do it. Yeah things are still early and there are a million things that can go wrong, but I am determined to enjoy this pregnancy and that includes updates so I start today. I’ve also decided that for my own sanity I needed a nickname for this one. I can’t keep calling it the embryo and I’m not ready to use the “B” word quite yet. Instead in my head I’ve taken to calling it my Maybe Baby. This may sound negative to some but to me it makes perfect sense. This pregnancy does indeed have a chance of becoming a baby. In time I might even get comfortable enough (Oh around 24 weeks or so) to drop the ‘maybe’. But for now it is Maybe Baby. Or MB for short.

How far along: 5 Weeks today

What is up with Maybe Baby: Apparently MB is now the size of an apple seed! The chambers of the heart are starting to form and may begin to start beating soon.

What is up with my body: Boobs are killing me. They are so much more painful than the last time I was pregnant. If I even nudge the sides it causes sharp aches. J is all excited because he thinks this means they will grow super big. They probably will. F me. But I’m grateful for the ache because it feels like an indication that all is well with MB.

I think I’m starting to feel little bouts of nausea. Not bad mind you, I have absolutely no feelings of vomiting, but every once in a while my stomach will kind of turn and feel unsettled. Then it disappears and I’m sure I have imagined it.

I am also pleased to say that with the small exception of the time I tried to poop too hard, there has not been any spotting. And that incident was so minor that I’ve ridden it off. This is a huge relief to me as I spotted the entire time my last pregnancy. And we all saw how well that one worked out.

Nose is becoming more sensitive. We went to the beach today and I was struck by how stinky the ocean is. I’ve never noticed that in my life before but today I definitely did. Plus I can smell when J comes in from riding his bike. Stinky boy smell does not bode well with pregnancy nose.

Cravings: Stuff I can’t have. Why does it work that way? I have been absolutely craving cookie dough. I think this is because during my TWW I had made a batch of cookies but when the first round came out of the oven I discovered they were very cakey, which I didn’t like. So I stuck the rest of the dough in the fridge and slowly ate it all raw. I’m healthy like that. Anyways this is a big no-no because of the risk of salmonella in raw eggs. I think it’s a low risk but still. Better safe than sorry. It sounds so good right now though.

Aversions: Nothing really. We ate Arby’s for dinner one night and that was the first time I felt a little nauseous but I wouldn’t say that it sounds horrible to me. Okay maybe a little now.

Gender: I’m just hoping at this point that it has a beating heart. Not too concerned with parts yet.

Best moment of the week: Hearing that my HCG doubled in 32 hours. Very excited that things seem to be heading in the right direction.

Looking forward to: My 6 week HB check scan. I am also terrified for this. Please let MB have a heart beat…please please please.

Other: My Couch to 5K challenge is officially on hold. I was a little vague in my last update (Week 4) because  I knew that it was on hold but I hadn’t announced the pregnancy yet. They say it is okay to run in pregnancy if you were a runner before, but the thing is I had only been a runner for about a month. And not a good one at that. It was still pushing my body much more than I would be comfortable with right now. I just can’t take any chances. The good thing is that I now know I can do it though. My hope is to pick running back up after MB is (gulp) born. Maybe lose some of the weight that way. I’ll have to start over but I’m okay with that.

J and I are going to start taking bump pictures this weekend because he would like to animate them to show me growing through the pregnancy but I don’t think I’m brave enough to post them yet. Maybe once we see a heart beat. It does make me smile though, I’m not the only one that seems more confident about this pregnancy, he never suggested anything like this with the last one but the pictures this time were his idea. Come on MB! We are rooting for you!



Filed under First Trimester, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Weekly Update

Is this real life?

Beta # 2 (17 DPO) HCG = 649 Progesterone = 40.1! A doubling time of 32 hours!

FREAKING OUT! I had convinced myself all day that the news was bad because they were taking so long to call me. Is this really happening? It is! My head is spinning.

My Dr. is so pleased with the results that he said there is no need to repeat the beta. He went ahead and scheduled me for my first scan (eep!) which will take place when I am 6+3 weeks. I’m already nervous about that so I really need to not think about it right now. Right now I just need to focus on my great betas and the fact that this pregnancy seems to be thriving.

Of course Robin had to go and freak me out by saying my numbers are similar to hers and she is carrying twins. Heh, love you Robin! I highly doubt that though since I have one ovary and no family history. But seriously, that would throw me for a loop. Hoping for one healthy singleton in there.

Thank you all SOOO much for your comments on my last post. They mean the world to me because I think so highly of all of you. This community has been a life line for me and it means a lot to me to see the outpouring of love. Estimated due date is March 2nd. The day after my little brother’s 25th birthday!



Filed under BABIES!, Betas, First Trimester, If you're happy and you know it..., Pregnancy

Take Two


That’s right folks. You are seeing correctly. 4 positive pregnancy tests. The number you ask? Well that incredible number is the result of my first beta, taken yesterday at 15 DPO. For comparative sake…during my last pregnancy my beta was 65 at 15 DPO. I think I’ll take the 233 instead! It’s official…I’m pregnant!

I actually caved and tested on 13 DPO which is when I got my first positive. I only tested because I had the one major symptom that I had during the last pregnancy, I hadn’t started spotting yet. I always spot about 2 days before my period. So when I am expecting AF the next day but I have no spotting, I got curious. I told myself as I waited for the test to dry that it wasn’t going to happen. I had none of the symptoms that I had last time (except the lack of spotting) and I was using super diluted urine. But I tested anyways. Then I cried.

This time feels different. I started spotting pink from the get go with the last one. So far none. Okay last night I totally broke down because there was some pink spotting after a strained BM, but there has been nothing since, I’ve even had a BM since and all is clear. I’ve checked my cervix and all is clear. So I’m letting that brief moment go. Chalking it up to trying too hard. Like my total over share?

Plus I have that beautiful number to concentrate on! I’m in love with that number. I feel more confident about this one. I know it is super early and a million things can still go wrong but I am determined to be positive and enjoy this. What makes this even more special for me is my best girl  Tami also go her BFP this month and we will be due a week apart. I couldn’t have wished for anything more perfect.

Beta #1 @ 15 DPO – HCG =233 Progesterone =38.9


Filed under Betas, Celebration, First Trimester, Pregnancy

Couch to 5K: Week 4

Sorry this post is sooo delayed. But in truth I only just finished Week 4 a few days again. Honestly, this week kicked my ass. During week 3 you have a total running time of  9 minutes. Week 4 you jump up to a total running time of 16 minutes! Here is what week 4 looks like:

5 minute warm up.

Run 3 minutes

Walk 90 seconds

Run 5 minutes

Walk 2.5 minutes

Run 3 minutes

Walk 90 seconds

Run 5 minutes

5 minutes cool down.

Yeah, those 5 minutes runs were brutal for me at first. So my “week” ended up being much longer than it should have been.

Run 1: Was not able to complete run. Did all but the last 2 1/2 minutes. Total running time of 13.5 minutes. Absolutely devastated. I was SO mad at myself on the way home. I kept thinking “I could have done it, I had another 2 1/2 minutes in me” but it is what it is.

Run 2: Even worse. Did not warm up properly and  had major leg pain. Total running time of 9.5 minutes

Run 3: Best run of the week. My SIL was in town and said she’d do the run with me. This really encouraged me and made me push myself to finish because she was still going. Completed run inside on treadmill.

Run 4: Outside run. Able to complete but definitely had a harder time then the inside run. But very happy with the results.

Run 5: Outside run. Probably the hardest of my completed runs. Just was tired and out of gas, but I knew I had no excuse not to finish since I had already completed the run the 2 previous times. Run completed.

It took my 5 runs rather than 3 but Week 4 in now done. I have yet to make a decision if I am moving on to week 5 yet. Week 5 is crazy. The last run of the week is a full 20 minute run with no breaks. I know I am just not there yet. Although I want to move on because I hate the thought of staying behind, I know I can’t push myself too much. We will see what I end up deciding.


Filed under C25K, Living Life


Welcome to all ICLWers! This cycle enters our 18th month TTC. In January I had surgery to remove my right ovary due to a horribly bad reaction of Clomid. The surgery paid off when we got pregnant naturally in April. The pregnancy was short-lived and I miscarried naturally at 6 weeks. This is our 2nd cycle TTC since the miscarriage. Currently I am 11dpo and low on hope. The problem is that I now know what my pregnancy symptoms are and they are very lacking at the moment. If you are new here, I look forward to getting to know all of you and reading your blogs!

On another note, I usually do not get involved in internet drama but I had to post about the blog hoax that happened over the past few days. For those who don’t know there was a blog that was posted on LCFA that gained a lot of attention. The blogger had lost her first pregnancy to a cord issue at 37 weeks. This week she posted that her rainbow baby Chloe who was 2 months old was in a horrible car accident with her husband that left her brain-dead. Horrible right? Well it was all fake.

This hits me hard because of my friend who went through something very similar in December. For those of you who don’t remember my friend  (an infertile) and her family where in a horrible car accident on Christmas Eve this past year. Her 18 month old miracle son suffered a spinal cord injury that left him brain-dead. He was taken off life support on Christmas Day.

And it KILLS me. Everyday I wonder how she is still breathing, some days she wonders that herself. For someone to make light of a situation like this is like a punch in the stomach. This is not an escape from reality this is real life that real people suffer through. I wish I had the girls e-mail because this situation hits near and dear to my heart. I will never understand how someone can do something like that. I wish my life was so perfect that I needed to make up drama as an “escape”.

If you can’t tell, I’m really fuming about this. But I cried tears for the girl. I DEFENDED her even though her story had holes in it. And I’m mad about it.

Sorry, I just had to vent. If you are new from ICLW I’m sorry you have to witness my anger. I’m usually spitting rainbows and sunshine. Heh. Or not. But welcome anyways!


Filed under Infertility, It's not always about me, Just my luck, TWW

I knew I loved Garlic for a reason!

I love garlic. When growing up my mom made well…kinda bland food. Any seasoning she added was mild and she hardly ever used garlic, but when she did it was always garlic powder. J and I love strong flavorful food. So of course we use real fresh chopped garlic and a lot of it! When we visit my parents they never let us cook on Thursday nights because they know we will use a lot of garlic and my mom has choir rehersal those nights and she doesn’t want to stink.

Well you know how I’ve had those earaches that have plagued me since right before I got pregnant? The ones I’ve been on 4 different types of antibiotics for? GARLIC my friends.

I went to an ENT about 2 and a half weeks ago because my throat was hurting so bad I couldn’t sleep because of the post nasal drip running down my throat. He looked in my ears and said they were clear but it did concern him the frequency of when they were happening. He said my nasal passages where inflamed and that is what was causing the post nasal drip. He told me to do something that shocked me…lose the neti pot. GASP! Everyone always raves about neti pots and how amazing they are. I’ve been using mine for many years. But he said that the force of the saline was too strong and could sometimes cause more damage to the inflammation. Instead he had me buy a saline rinse in a squeeze bottle and told me to do it 2-3 times a day along with my nose spray that I’d been neglecting. He said if my ears kept acting up we’d have to do a CAT scan to see what was going on. (Yes I realize I am a physical mess. It sucks.) Worked like a charm. No more sore throat!

I’d been doing pretty good as far as the ear pain staying away for a few weeks until last Tuesday it started up again. My sister-in-law gets stuff like that pretty frequently and recommended that I switch allergy medications. Yes I take an allergy medicine everyday, otherwise my sinus’ rebel. I’d been using A generic for of Claratin and switched to the generic of Zyrtec. Within a few days the pain all went away. Then on Monday it came back. BAD. I knew this time that it was serious because I could not even shut my jaw on the left side, something I’ve experience when I’ve needed a strong anti-biotic. The problem is, at the moment I am not willing to take an anti-biotic. I know they say that it is safe for pregnancy but the fact of the matter is I got on one during the TWW the cycle I got pregnant. I was on 2 different ones during that time. And I miscarried. I am NOT willing to take that chance again.

I did some research and a lot of sites said to try Garlic Oil. I figured…what the hell? So we went and bought some. Smells foul but works like a charm. I put 3 drops in my ear with the dropper and then cover my ear with a cotton ball. I did the a few times during the day then right before bed where I laid on the opposite side so it really got in there good. 2 days later I have absolutely no ear pain and my jaw is back in commission. All without an anti-biotic. I ❤ Garlic.

10 DPO today and not feeling uber confident. I wish I was. I keep molesting my breasts to see if they are sore but they are not. I keep checking my chest, back, and face for a major breakout but only the norm for now. My temp is still high and so far no spotting that proceeds my period but I’m not due till Sunday.

In the meantime send some love to Tami. She got her BFP on Saturday but is very nervous about the low beta. I love this girl and am hoping for a good outcome for her with all my heart. If you have a minute stop by and show some support.


Filed under It's not always about me, Miscarriage, Sickness, TWW

So sleepy

I am exhausted. My family left this morning and although I will miss them I am glad to get back to normal life. This week has been great for me, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard and felt so happy. Just being able to forget (well forget the best I could) about infertility and babies was freeing. I was able to get to know my little brothers better and see what great people they have become.

I don’t really have much to post about today, or maybe my brain is just too tired to think of things to post. I’m 7 dpo today so I still have another week till we move to the next cycle. You can see how confident I am. I ordered a 50 pack of HPT’s and I’m already planning out next cycle. I acted utterly un-pregnant this week. Lots of hot tubing and caffeine. And it felt good.

Friday night I did log onto Facebook to see that an old co-worker was announcing her pregnancy. Her and her husband took a picture. He was holding up a sign that said “We are…” and she was holding a bottle of Prego spaghetti sauce. Cue gag reflex. But it gets better…she is 6 weeks along. The first thought I had was “what an idiot”. I resisted the urge to comment saying “I was 6 weeks along too! Now I’m not…” But that would have been cruel. The thing is, she will probably go on to have a normal boring pregnancy. The ones who post such things so early usually do. Maybe that is the key?

I’m gonna try to get caught up on my growing list of blogs to read over the next couple of days. I hope everyone is doing good, I’ve sure missed you guys even though its only been like a week since I posted. Looking forward to seeing how everyone is doing and I’ll try to post again soon once my brain has woken up a bit.


Filed under BABIES!, Infertility, Living Life, Miscarriage