…Not much to say lately. I’m not sure why. In the past I’ve had no problem coming up with something to whine about but right now, nada. I mean sure I could go back to the good old stand by of how much infertility sucks and how I hate everyone on the planet. But I’m just not feeling it at the moment.
Yesterday was a good day. This is the first weekend in a long long time that J and I haven’t had any plans. We actually looked at each other yesterday morning and said “what are we going to do all weekend?”. So we just chilled. Got some groceries, played tennis, went running, and watched last weeks Game of Thrones episode for the 2nd time (Season finale tonight!). Today will be very similar. Need to clean the apartment, give the dog a bath, maybe go play tennis again, and go out to eat. Very chill.
Speaking of my dog…I’m going to kill him. He has gotten in the very bad habit lately of knocking over our garbage can when we are not home. In the past it hasn’t been to bad, but he has definitely gotten some “treats” we would have never given him. But yesterday the garbage was full to the brim. The main item on his menu? Rotten sour cream. Yup. We had cleaned out our fridge and found it lurking in the back with mold on the top *gag*. He ate some of it. Luckily he had the good sense not to eat it all but still. So last night he kept throwing up. He hasn’t thrown up yet today but he looks as sick as a…well dog. You can tell he is miserable. Part of me doesn’t feel bad for him. Maybe this will teach him to leave the garbage alone.
I’m trying not to focus on it too much but I would have been 12 weeks today. It really sucks to think about it. My family is going to be in town next week and we were planning on telling them then, it would have been perfect timing. Instead I am hoping that I will ovulate a little early so that we can avoid the awkwardness of trying to squeeze in quiet sex while my brother and sister-in-law are staying with us. Not to mention we went out to dinner with some friends who just moved here and they brought along their 5 week old daughter. Cue me feeling like a crazy person cause all I want to do is hold her while at the same time all I want to do is pretend like she does not exist. Very confusing. But I did hold her and she is adorable. Stupid baby.
So far the plan of distracting myself is working out well. The running is good…keeps me focused on a different goal and I started up my W.orld of W.arcraft account again. *Hangs head in shame* Yes, I’m that kind of nerd. I haven’t played for quite a while but my friend sent me a 7 day free trial and got me hooked again. At least for now. So I can mindlessly play that instead of obsessively searching google for everything TTC and pregnancy related.
The waiting continues. Feels like the days leading up to O time are dragging. I’m also not feeling very confident about it at all. I guess we will just have to wait and see.