I’m on the W.orld of W.arcraft crack. That shizz is addicting. So I’ve been going home running, and playing WoW. NERD! In between those things I’ve been obsessing about ovulating. One might think that since I’ve ovulated every month since December I could just relax about it but noooo…I’m far to insane for that. So I worry that I won’t ovulate. I analyze my temperature, my cervix, and my cm. Crazy person.
Good news is I am 99% sure that I ovulated on Saturday. It always takes me awhile to be sure because my temperature is so damn stubborn and slow rising. But it did start rising this morning and I’ve had the good old sensitive nipples since Saturday. So I’m calling it a win. Even better…it was CD 15. I KNOW RIGHT?!?! Me? The girl who has never ovulated before CD 19? On a NORMAL cycle? I’m in awe. I heart Vitex.
Now I enter the dreaded TWW. I hate to get my hopes up but I won’t lie, they are. We conceived after 2 months of trying once I started ovulating on my own. This is the 2nd cycle since my miscarriage. Plus I ovulated the day after my birthday. Wouldn’t that be the greatest present ever?
But there is still the negative side of me that will not allow myself to believe that I will conceive anytime soon. I have one pregnancy test left and I’ve been hesitant to order more. I did however finally thrown away my positive tests. I do feel like it was therapeutic. I lined them up in order one last time, gave them a longing look, allowed myself to be sad, and got rid of them. And I don’t regret it. I’m ready to move on, I’m ready to be pregnant again. This next one will be the one. I have to believe that, the alternative is too hard to think about.
Lucky for me my family is in town this week so hopefully that will suppress the crazy for this week at least. Next week is a whole other ball game. But if I’m MIA this weekend it is because I am enjoying the time I have with my family. I know I haven’t done a Written Wednesday in the past few weeks, I’ll try to get one up next week for sure!