Thank you everyone for your comments and advice on my last post. I did listen to you all and called my doctor this morning. I also have taken 2 pregnancy tests since the initial positive. Sunday morning (the next day) there was a slight second line, so faint that you could only see it if you were staring at it and examining it in every way possible like I was. Today it was negative. The bleeding has also become quite heavy and I’m passing blood clots. My temperature also dropped this morning. Based on all this information my doctor seems to think that it was a chemical pregnancy and that there is no need to do blood tests as it sounds like most of it has already passed.
He told me that I now need to make a decision on how we proceed. Do we try naturally? Do we add Lovenox? Where do I want to go? To be honest I think he was more upset about this whole thing than I am. Truthfully…I’m fine. Really. This whole thing, compared to what we just went through 5 weeks ago, has barely made any impact on me at all. I hope no one take offense by this because I know chemical pregnancies are still hard losses for some and I totally get that. But for me it has just not been a big deal. The way I see it is my body was absolutely not ready to support a pregnancy. When I conceived I was only 3 1/2 weeks off a D&C. I probably had practically no lining for an embryo to implant in. It never really stood a chance. It also helps that I never even for a moment imagined this pregnancy going full term. That second line appeared and I knew it was already over. I have no idea what my due date would have been and I honestly don’t care. 5 weeks ago I lost a baby. This doesn’t compare in my brain at the moment. I honestly feel like this one doesn’t count towards my losses, but maybe I’m wrong about this.
If anything I am encouraged. I do not think this means that my body will be unable to support a pregnancy ever. I just think it needs more than 3 1/2 weeks after a D&C to recover and get prepared for a new pregnancy. If anything this means I should hopefully *knock on wood* not have trouble conceiving again. I told my doctor that I have now become the most fertile infertility patient ever. I know I am extremely luck in this aspect. Many would kill to have this and I recognize that it is a blessing. Now if we could just figure out how to keep the things in there for 9 months!
In a weird way I think this has helped me heal more than I ever thought it could. I now know that I can still conceive a child. I also know that I am ready to be pregnant again. I want a healthy baby in my belly. I’m willing to do what is necessary to do this. As far as what we are going to do…I feel comfortable sticking to the plan my doctor and I discussed last week. Trying naturally, baby asprin, pre-natals, metformin, vitex, and progesterone after ovulation. I want to see how this goes for a few months before adding Lovenox. We can always reassess later or even go on the Lovenox after I get pregnant. For now I just want to try to add the least amount of stress into this TTC process as possible.
Again thank you all for the support. I know I was slightly frantic when I made my last post and you all helped me calm down so much. I’m ready to move on to a new cycle.