Update

Thank you everyone for your comments and advice on my last post. I did listen to you all and called my doctor this morning. I also have taken 2 pregnancy tests since the initial positive. Sunday morning (the next day) there was a slight second line, so faint that you could only see it if you were staring at it and examining it in every way possible like I was. Today it was negative. The bleeding has also become quite heavy and I’m passing blood clots. My temperature also dropped this morning. Based on all this information my doctor seems to think that it was a chemical pregnancy and that there is no need to do blood tests as it sounds like most of it has already passed.

He told me that I now need to make a decision on how we proceed. Do we try naturally? Do we add Lovenox? Where do I want to go? To be honest I think he was more upset about this whole thing than I am. Truthfully…I’m fine. Really. This whole thing, compared to what we just went through 5 weeks ago, has barely made any impact on me at all. I hope no one take offense by this because I know chemical pregnancies are still hard losses for some and I totally get that. But for me it has just not been a big deal. The way I see it is my body was absolutely not ready to support a pregnancy. When I conceived I was only 3 1/2 weeks off a D&C. I probably had practically no lining for an embryo to implant in. It never really stood a chance. It also helps that I never even for a moment imagined this pregnancy going full term. That second line appeared and I knew it was already over. I have no idea what my due date would have been and I honestly don’t care. 5 weeks ago I lost a baby. This doesn’t compare in my brain at the moment. I honestly feel like this one doesn’t count towards my losses, but maybe I’m wrong about this.

If anything I am encouraged. I do not think this means that my body will be unable to support a pregnancy ever. I just think it needs more than 3 1/2 weeks after a D&C to recover and get prepared for a new pregnancy. If anything this means I should hopefully *knock on wood* not have trouble conceiving again. I told my doctor that I have now become the most fertile infertility patient ever. I know I am extremely luck in this aspect. Many would kill to have this and I recognize that it is a blessing. Now if we could just figure out how to keep the things in there for 9 months!

In a weird way I think this has helped me heal more than I ever thought it could. I now know that I can still conceive a child. I also know that I am ready to be pregnant again. I want a healthy baby in my belly. I’m willing to do what is necessary to do this. As far as what we are going to do…I feel comfortable sticking to the plan my doctor and I discussed last week. Trying naturally, baby asprin, pre-natals, metformin, vitex, and progesterone after ovulation. I want to see how this goes for a few months before adding Lovenox. We can always reassess later or even go on the Lovenox after I get pregnant. For now I just want to try to add the least amount of stress into this TTC process as possible.

Again thank you all for the support. I know I was slightly frantic when I made my last post and you all helped me calm down so much. I’m ready to move on to a new cycle.

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14 Comments

Filed under Healing, Infertility, Miscarriage, RPL

14 responses to “Update

  1. I can’t tell you how happy for you and relieved for me this post makes me! Even though I’m sad this wasn’t a viable pregnancy, I’m so glad your reaction is so positive. All of what you said is true and I’m glad you’re able to see the positive. And the good thing is that it sounds like your body is working the way it was designed to! That’s always a plus! I would just recommend an ultrasound if you’re going to be upset that you might have to sit a cycle out. My empty sac was a surprise both times it showed on the ultrasound screen since I had two periods and two bouts of clots passing. It was probably just my dumb luck, but I just thought I’d mention it. Also, I have been feeling really optimistic about the coming months for me and wondered if I was delusional! Thanks for letting me know I’m not (or being delusional with me)! 😉 And thanks for the update. I was going to email you tonight to check in.

    • OOOH! Let’s be delusional and full of optimism together! I need someone to share my insanity with!

      I’m glad you mentioned that though. I have to call my doctor tomorrow anyway to let him know my plan so I will see if we should do an ultrasound or not. I may have to go to my OB for that though for insurance reasons though. But that should be doable.

  2. Sigh. Of. Relief. So glad you’re taking this well and feeling optimistic. Your plan sounds like a great one! I’m all for keeping every cycle as low-key as possible and having an open mind when it comes to the Lovenox sounds like a great way to do it. Take care of yourself, sweetie. I just know you’ll be getting your take-home baby before very long. XO

  3. Tami

    I’m still kind of pissed your full RPL panel isn’t back though. I feel like that is the final piece you need for closure. That said, I will repeat my mantra for you: leftie is the besie 🙂 xo

    • This is why I love you. Total made me laugh.

      I’m right with you about the RPL panel though. How is it you got yours in 2 days and mine still isn’t back at 5 weeks? Both seem extreme to me. I think they like to torture us.

  4. D

    I am very relieved to read this post! I had a chemical after my first D&C and while it was hard to have yet another miscarriage, I totally understand when you say it wasn’t nearly as difficult as finding no heartbeat at an ultrasound when you are so much farther along. I hope that the results from your tests come back soon so you can figure out where to go next. Still routing for you!!

  5. Glad to hear that things are moving along and that you’ve talked with your doc. A fertile infertility patient….what a concept. Here’s hoping that the next one comes in it’s own time (that is, quickly, but not too quickly) and that it stays!

  6. I completely understand what you mean here. Glad you have a tentative plan…it’s nice to move forward.

  7. Gosh, you’ve been through so much this year and yet you amaze me at how you are still in a really good place. I think you have a great plan for the next few months. Fingers crossed!

  8. I’m with Tami here. Where oh where is your RPL panel?

    Though I’m so sorry to hear that you had a chemical pregnancy, I am glad that you are taking the outlook you are. After everything you’ve been through, it would be very easy not to. Thinking of you.

  9. I’m so glad you called your RE to talk, and I’m even happier that you are handling it so well. I was worried that you would sink into the dark hole again. I think of you often. Praying for you that your body will be ready for your next pregnancy at the same time your heart and mind are ready.

  10. I’m so glad you went to the doctor and can now move on. I am hopeful that this will happen. Crossing fingers for a healthy pregnancy and baby! xoxo

  11. I don’t know how I missed your last post about the possible chemical pregnancy. But I guess it’s better that I read it and then was able to read this one right after and know that you are handling a(nother) difficult situation so well. It sounds like your body wants to be pregnant as much as your heart and mind want it… Giving all three time to heal is what’s needed now. And lots of TLC in the meantime. You’ll get there.
    Keep taking good care of yourself and letting your husband, doctor, and loved ones do their parts! Sending hope and hugs.

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