This week has been an emotional one. I feel like I’ve been riding a wave that rises and then falls. Believe it or not I am actually doing okay after the news we got on Wednesday. Sure I still have a lot of questions and I am by no means “over it” but I accept that this is all we are going to know and that I have to make peace with that. A lot of other things happened this week though so to best lay them all out I am implementing bullet points!
- Monday: My HCG levels that were drawn on the previous Thursday (the day we saw the sac) came back at 0. This confuddles me but I think it is the first time that I was actually happy to hear of a zero HCG result.
- Tuesday: I have a job interview that totally threw me off. It was a 3rd interview that happened 3 whole weeks after the 2nd. For the 2nd interview I had to memorize a script, which I did and did well. They did not mention that I would have to repeat the same script at the 3rd interview (3 weeks later!) so I botched it. I don’t like failing.
- Wednesday: I have another job interview for a position I desperately want. It is a working interview that they have scheduled from 8am-12pm. By 9:30am they have offered me the position. YAY! Comes with an awesome work schedule (M-TH 8am-7pm so I have a three day weekend every week!) and does not involve children at all. Average client age is 45. Score. I’m thrilled about the job then I get that dreaded e-mail that tells me the D&C results. Lots of crying ensues.
- Thursday: I go for another check up at my OB’s office. There is no longer a gestational sac. But now there is a small pool of blood in my uterus. Not really a problem but my OB does predict that I will ovulate in about a week so we decide to use Methergine which will cause my uterus to contract and expel the blood. Fun weekend for me ahead.
- Friday: I go into my old work and turn in my keys. Sadness ensues because although I have been kinda miserable there lately I will miss the people. They are good people and it really is a great place to work…just not if you are struggling with infertility. Tami calls me and makes my day.
So yeah. Interesting week. I have called my RE and I plan to meet with him to discuss the results of the D&C. Mostly what his opinion is on what we should do next (Lovenox is what I am thinking) and if we truly have to wait 2 cycles. This is the recommendation from my OB, but I know she is not a specialist in this field so I’d rather have his opinion. I know we will for sure not try this cycle, what with the blood pool and all, but I feel like we should be okay for October. Or maybe I’m just in denial. That is a real possibility.