I’m on CD 18. No ovulation. Cue FREAK OUT. I mean major freak out. I was so convinced that my temp was going to be up this morning that when that stupid thermometer flashed 97.1 I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t get back to sleep even though I still had a little while before I had to be up. I called my RE this morning in a panic asking if he could run a E2 blood test to see where my estrogen was at and see if I was close to ovulation. Not surprisingly he said he could run a progesterone test, which I told him is pointless because I know I haven’t ovulated, and offered to do an ultrasound. Thing is, my insurance won’t cover said ultrasound and I can’t exactly fork over $200 today. So I told him it wasn’t necessary, hung up the phone and burst into tears.
Mind you this is all happening while I am at work. Luckily before we opened so no patients were here but I was trying to get a grip and hide the fact that I am an emotional mess from my boss. In fact I’m at work on my break right now typing this and I’m again tearing up. They are gonna think I am mental.
CD 18 isn’t so unreasonable for me to have not ovulated…my latest ovulation was CD 23 so I really shouldn’t be freaking out, but in June when I got pregnant I ovulated on CD 16. After my D&C I ovulated 3 weeks later (not sure what CD as I wasn’t charting, but I know it was quick). After the chemical the best I can tell I ovulated around CD 15. What. The. Hell.
To make matters worse I had EWCM CD 13-15. Now I have none. I had a huge temp rise on CD 10 (which freaked me out because I thought I was ovulating early. Now I wish I had.) but it dropped the next day.
Since my surgery I have ovulated every cycle on my own. There is no reason to think that that will change anytime soon, but I can’t help it. I can’t forget about the year we spent TTC when I ovulated only 4 times, all on Clomid. I can’t be annovulatory again. I can’t go back to fertility meds. I’m too damn scared. Last time it landed me in the OR for an emergency surgery. I just can’t.
I’m really scared right now. I know I should try to relax but I can’t. Please ovulate…oh please, please, please.