The End of the World

December 21st 2012, to most it was supposed to be the end of the world. For me it was the end of a very long journey. We had driven through the night, 10 hours, to visit my family. We finally got home at 8:00 and immediately crashed into bed. I had been feeling pretty bloated but I figured it was due to sitting for 11 hours in the car. At 9:30 I woke up to sharp pains. I stayed calm and tried to ease the pain by taking medication and sitting in a hot bath. By 11:00 I could not ignore it anymore, the pain wasn’t going away.

We contacted my RE and went straight to the ER. While we were there they did an ultrasound and found that I was bleeding internally. This earned me a one-way ticket straight to the Operating Room.

Last night they went in Laproscopicaly to remove the excess tissue and possibly my tube. When they got in there they found that my tube had not ruptured like they originally thought. However there was a blood clot  outside of my tube that was causing the bleeding. The clot was most likely formed from the tube trying to expel the tissue from the pregnancy.

The surgeon also said that my tube was kind of funny shaped, almost like a half circle. She said that based on this she thinks we should not try again naturally to get pregnant again because it would most likely be another ectopic. I don’t necessarily agree because I have had 3 other pregnancies and none of them got stuck in my tube. We even know for a fact that my second pregnancy was implanted high up in my uterus based on my ultrasounds.

Luckily the hospital is sending all the things they found during the surgery to my RE so it is something I can ask him about later. Not like I’m planning on getting pregnant any time soon, really I’m not sure if I ever want to be pregnant again after this. But for now I know that is a decision I know I can’t make right away.

It just figures that this would happen so close to Christmas though. We were supposed to flying to Michigan this morning to spend the holidays with J’s family. I am grateful though that is happened before we flew out though, as bummed as I am about missing this time with the side of the family we rarely see, I would not have wanted this to happen while we were out there. It would have just made things much more difficult.

Merry Christmas to us. This whole thing has really not helped me get rid of the Grinch in me.signature

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16 Comments

Filed under Depression, Ectopic, Healing, Infertility, Just my luck

16 responses to “The End of the World

  1. Holy cow Trisha. You sure have been delt a shit hand. I’m so sorry 😦

  2. Ick. I’m so sorry to hear that you ended up having to go to the OR, but I’m praying for lots of healing….both physically and emotionally for you. I hope 2013 holds much better things for you both, but in the meantime, I hope you still have a very Merry Christmas. xo

  3. There’s not enough space for me to type all the swearing that’s going on in my head. I’m so sorry that this happened. I was really hoping you were in the clear. I’m glad you didn’t lose your tube and think it’s wise to talk with your RE about what was found. Thinking of you and hoping that you are able to spend some time with family. Either way, sending love.

  4. I don’t even know what to say at this point. I am so sorry this is what you’re dealing with. It sucks. Thinking about you.

  5. SM

    This whole situation is just so shitty. I’m so sorry you ended up in the OR. Sending love and hugs!

  6. I’m really sorry you had to get surgery, but very relieved for you that it’s finally over! Take care xox

  7. booooo! I’m so sorry! How scary! I’m glad it wasn’t your tube, but it still sounds awful! hope you can rest and enjoy Christmas with your husband!

  8. Goodness, I’m so sorry, Trisha. I know how much the upcoming holiday is going to suck for you, but my Christmas wish for you is that you are able to find one moment of utter peace and joy. And my New Year wish is that somehow, some way, your baby finds his/her way to you in 2013.

  9. Friend, all I can say is that I hope 2013 is better. 2012 has been utterly and completely craptastic. I hope things improve for you because you certainly deserve it.

  10. This year has just dealt you way too much pain. I know you’ve got a lot of physical and emotional healing to do now, but I am glad it’s over. I am hoping that you and your husband are able to find some peace on Christmas, and renewed strength and hope in the new year. Take it slowly, and be gentle with yourself and each other.
    *Love and hugs*

  11. I’m so sorry! This is not fair!! Xoxo

  12. M

    Hugs, hon. I’m so sorry.

  13. I cannot imagine all you are going through. I can’t stop thinking about you. I wish I could just give you a big hug. Please just know that I am so sorry and admire you so much for staying strong.

  14. I am so sorry that this just won’t seem to end for you.

  15. I’m sorry about all the things you have been dealt. I really wish I could offer you some explanation for the way things are but I can’t. You have been so strong for so long and an inspiration for many.

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