His Day

Today is MB’s due date. MB, my sweet boy.

I know realistically that he probably would not have been born today. If he was anything like either one of his parents he would have been stubborn as hell and refused to come out until I was begging him for mercy. Oh, how I wish I was begging him.

MB, today I want you to know how much I love you. There is not a single day that passes that I do not think of you. What you would have been like, how you would look, how much your family would have adored you. Some people won’t understand the connection I feel to you. But the moment I saw your little heartbeat you had me wrapped around your non-existent fingers. I also want you to know that as we bring children into our home, they will not be to replace you. No one could ever do that. In my mind you will always be my first child. They will be your brothers and sisters and I know they will always have their big brother looking out for them.

I’m trying not to be sad today. Yet even as I type this I can’t a few tears. Instead I want to treasure the happy moments we had with you. Because YOU were the best part of my year last year. Without a doubt. The few weeks I got to spend with you are weeks I will treasure the rest of my life.

All my love,

Mama

 

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12 Comments

Filed under Depression, Healing, Miscarriage, Moving On

12 responses to “His Day

  1. I’m thinking if you today.

  2. Sending love to you and MB today. This is a beautiful account of your bittersweet feelings.

  3. Thinking of you, J and MB today. Holding you all close in my heart.

  4. 😦 Sorry Trisha. Thinking of you today.

  5. Abiding with you today, my friend, and thinking of your cherished MB.

  6. You brought tears to my eyes. This was so beautiful what you wrote to him!!

  7. This is a beautiful post. Thinking of you and MB.

  8. It takes so much strength to share this. You are amazing.

  9. Hugs. Thinking of you today

  10. Thinking of you and MB today ::hug::

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