Unexpected

Easter was a calm one at our house. Having no family around makes for peaceful holidays. It times like that make me so excited for kids so that we can start our own family traditions. We mostly hung out and then spent a little time with friends in the evening. We were surprise when the Easter Bunny sent us a rather interesting Easter Egg before bed.

My brother-in-law’s wife is originally from China and she is currently over there spending time with her family. One of her neighbors is currently 5 months pregnant with their 2nd child, however China has a 1 child law. You are able to have another child, however you have to pay very high fees and taxes. The couple has decided that if the child is a girl they will be giving her up for adoption. So they e-mailed us and asked us if we are interested in taking her.

The catch is, because of the very high abortion rates for female fetus’, they do not tell parents the sex of the baby until birth. If it is a boy, they will be raising the baby.

J and I talked about it and both came to the decision that if the child is a girl, we want to adopt her. However we are not willing to stop the adoption process we already have going, in case the baby ends up being a boy. So we will continue with our domestic adoption and will most like adopt and African-American baby this summer. In July the child in China will be born and if it does end up being a girl we will take her too.

Yeah.

So now I have so much research and things to figure out. I don’t know if we can convert our current home study to include international adoption as well as domestic. I also need to find out how China’s laws work if the birth parents designate the adoptive parents. I’m assuming we would still not be able to bring her home immediately and would be subject to a waiting period, however we are lucky because J’s brother and his wife will be over in China and could foster her for us (or if they won’t let them foster, they could at least check in on her and make sure she is okay). The cost is also a big factor, we are hoping since we would be chosen by the birth parents that would cut down some expenses. It will also be a determining factor depending on what will happen with our home study.

So much information I feel like my brain is going to explode.

This by far is in no-way a done deal. There is too much to figure out, too much that could go wrong. However, we can’t help but feel excited about the prospect of having 2 babies this year, most likely within weeks of each other. It would not be without its difficulties but I also have the image of a little black boy and a little asian girl holding hands on their way to the first day of kindergarten. Brother and sister in a unique family. How amazing it would be.

If anyone has ever adopted from China I’d really appreciate any advice or in-sight as to how the system works. I’m absolutely clueless. Now I’m off to send about a million e-mails to see if there is a chance that this special Easter Egg can hatch into reality.

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16 Comments

Filed under adoption, BABIES!, Home Study, questions, Trans-racial adoption

16 responses to “Unexpected

  1. !!! The universe works in such strange ways sometimes. Strange and exciting ways 🙂 I know of one couple in Birmingham who have adopted a girl from China. She blogs over here: http://carringtonfamilyof6.blogspot.com/ and I’m certain would be happy to answer any questions you might have. I know these folks from their former home in Mt. Laurel where I ran the communities newspaper. I think she will remember me by my real name. Not sure if you have that or not, if not, shoot me an email and I’ll fill you in (it’s a doozie and really stands out in Google Land!)

  2. WOW! This is potentially GREAT news!! I hope that this pans out for you!

  3. Wow!! Mysterious are the ways of the universe.. Keeping my fingers ,toes and all I can crossed for you . Hoping things work out perfectly for your budding family.

  4. Shelley

    Wow – that is flippin’ fantastic! I know you have a busy and complicated few months ahead but I can’t wait to follow along!! Blended families are such a beautiful thing.

  5. Wow. That’s a lot to take in. Wishing you luck as you continue to work out the details and make decisions. How incredibly exciting and overwhelming to think about that future!!!

  6. That is amazing! I love the image you describe of your possible family-to-be! I really hope it becomes a reality for you. Wishing you all the best as you continue sorting through the possibilities and making decisions.

  7. Holy smokes, what a series of events! That would be amazing, and I hope it works out for you guys. Wishing you all the best as you move forward in this crazy time.

  8. Such good news, Trisha! I’m so excited for your and your growing family!!

  9. I’m sad for the would-be girl to be given up by their parents, but if that means she will have a much happier life with true love and care, I’m happy for you! However the logistic does sound rather complicated..and real selfish on the parents side 😦 The basically have a win-win and leaving you on the line biting nails……

    • It is very hard to think about, unfortunately it is very common over there. In their culture the males are the ones who take care of the parents when they are elderly. The couple already has a girl and I guess feel that they cannot afford the extra money for a female child. It is very sad, but that is why I want her so bad. To show her that she is valued and wanted.

  10. I love the possibilities that this world has to offer when we least expect it. This is beautiful news, Trisha, and I hope things work out perfectly for both you and your husband, as well as the baby who will be coming this summer.

  11. Wow!!! Hard not to get one’s hopes up with this news. I think you’re being incredibly wise with keeping your options open and continuing to research. Still, the thought of an international adoption where one could have a direct connection with the birth parents . . . the mind reels.

    One thing to find out is, because you’d be working directly with the birth parents, if you could simply work with a social worker and a lawyer who specializes in international adoption. I’m so limited on my understanding of international adoption, but there are a number of bloggers (Miss Ohkay, Maria @ Mission: Fertile Soul and DAVS MyTwoLines come to mind) who would be excellent resources.

  12. Oh my gosh! Thinking of you as you move through this whirlwind!

  13. What an incredible gift that would be…a double blessing.. Will stay tuned and prayerful as your story unfolds…

  14. WOW! Fingers crossed!!

  15. I’m not sure where you are, the rules are different everywhere, but as far as I know, you still need to go through an international agency. There was a woman in my pride training trying to adopt her own grandson from another country and the process wasn’t much different than our own international adoption process! You will also likely have to make the change to your homestudy (just an add on, not a re-do). Keep us posted!

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