This past weekend I turned 28 years old. Now before you all start throwing virtual dirty looks my way, I know that is not old. But it doesn’t change the fact that I started this journey when I was 25. If I was a “normal” person I’d probably have a 2-year-old and be thinking about a second child.
We spent my birthday in Michigan visiting J’s family. We hadn’t seen them in almost a year and a half due to my latest foray in the operating room. It was good to spend time with them and generally just relax. Parts of it did make me sad though because we had planned to visit Michigan this summer with MB in tow. There are still times that shadows of what my life should have been pop up and take me unaware.
But on to happier things. While we were there, we stopped by the local Salvation Army. I have to say, SoCal thrift stores blow. Seriously, they are more expensive and generally don’t have much. But this one, I hit the mother-lode. I had to refrain for buying up all the cute girls clothes as I have no idea what gender our baby will be.
I did get 8 onesies though. All in excellent condition (some don’t even seem to have ever been worn) and all gender neutral. The best part? I got them all for a grand total of $4. Score!
So yes, I have started doing some *light* shopping. At first it was really scary and actually had me in mini-panic attacks. I never allowed myself to look at baby stuff so the idea of buying some sent me into a tailspin. But then I reasoned with myself. The fact is, I don’t get to do the normal pregnancy bonding thing. And I NEED to feel connected to this adoption. So the onesies have entered a small pile of clothing that I have started collecting when I’ve come across some amazing bargains. I don’t think I’ve spent more than $10 but still. I’m a work in progress. Also J got me a glider for my birthday. It is perfect and will be something that I know I will eventually make great use of. And if for some reason it doesn’t end up in a nursery it is an awesome reading chair. Yup, I went there.
But the good news is this morning I got an e-mail from our social worker with our completed home study. I won’t lie, I teared up (while at work) when at the bottom it said she recommended us for adoption. I mean, I knew that. She told us that. But seeing it in writing was a great feeling.
This weekend I will be filling out all the paperwork for our adoption agency while our social worker’s supervisor approves the final draft of the study. The paperwork for the agency is minimal in comparison to the home study. They’ve told us it only takes a few days to get everything completed, so my goal is to start having our profile shown by the end of the month.
J and I have become obsessive baby spotters. More specifically, black baby spotters. Every time we see an African-American baby we immediately point them out to the other person. J calls them “fuzzies” and tells me how excited he is to have our own fuzzy.
I never thought 3 years later these things would be happening. But they are. My life didn’t turn out the way I expected when I was 25. But I am sure excited to see where it is headed.