I feel so helpless and frustrated at the moment. When we started our home study we were told it would take 8-10 weeks to complete. We are now 16 weeks in and still have not received the final approval. It is sitting on the home study supervisor’s desk probably just waiting for a damn signature. It has been there for over a week. How hard is this?
On top of that we are working on our adoption agency papers and we have a few questions. So I call my contact with the agency and leave a message yesterday morning. No call. I wait till 4:30 today, still haven’t received a call so I left yet another message. I seriously need around 3 minutes of their time and I can’t get a hold of them. Not to mention this is the only contact number I have to them. So I went online, and of course it is also the only number listed on their website, and sent an e-mail explaining that I need another way to contact them and how frustrating it is to not get a call back 2 days in a row.
I’m seriously fuming right now. It’s easy for them not to be in a rush because it is not their adoption, meanwhile I’m over here trying to hold myself together because everyday these things don’t get done is another day until we finally have a baby. I need this to happen guys. Everyday I have to see others around me with their children or have people ask me how the adoption is going, hurts me a little more. J even suggested tonight that if we can’t get a hold of our agency that we start looking for different ones. This makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack because other agencies are, at bare minimum, a year wait. This one is 5 months at the longest.
My cousin texted me the other day saying she and her husband will be in town around the 4th of July and the want to go to dinner with us. Whenever they’ve been in town in the past we’ve always gotten together with them, but this time I can’t stand the thought. She’ll be around 6 months. I feel like an awful person but I really don’t want to see that. The thought of it clenches my stomach. I haven’t responded and its been almost a week. So I’m pretty sure she knows I’m avoiding her. Again, making me feel like an awful person.
Is this ever going to end? Not to sound like a narcissistic bitch, but I feel like I’ve earned the happy ending. Haven’t I’ve gone through enough? I just want move on to the next chapter of my life.