I need to vent

I feel so helpless and frustrated at the moment. When we started our home study we were told it would take 8-10 weeks to complete. We are now 16 weeks in and still have not received the final approval. It is sitting on the home study supervisor’s desk probably just waiting for a damn signature. It has been there for over a week. How hard is this?

On top of that we are working on our adoption agency papers and we have a few questions. So I call my contact with the agency and leave a message yesterday morning. No call. I wait till 4:30 today, still haven’t received a call so I left yet another message. I seriously need around 3 minutes of their time and I can’t get a hold of them. Not to mention this is the only contact number I have to them. So I went online, and of course it is also the only number listed on their website, and sent an e-mail explaining that I need another way to contact them and how frustrating it is to not get a call back 2 days in a row.

I’m seriously fuming right now. It’s easy for them not to be in a rush because it is not their adoption, meanwhile I’m over here trying to hold myself together because everyday these things don’t get done is another day until we finally have a baby. I need this to happen guys. Everyday I have to see others around me with their children or have people ask me how the adoption is going, hurts me a little more. J even suggested tonight that if we can’t get a hold of our agency that we start looking for different ones. This makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack because other agencies are, at bare minimum, a year wait. This one is 5 months at the longest.

My cousin texted me the other day saying she and her husband will be in town around the 4th of July and the want to go to dinner with us. Whenever they’ve been in town in the past we’ve always gotten together with them, but this time I can’t stand the thought. She’ll be around 6 months. I feel like an awful person but I really don’t want to see that. The thought of it clenches my stomach. I haven’t responded and its been almost a week. So I’m pretty sure she knows I’m avoiding her. Again, making me feel like an awful person.

Is this ever going to end? Not to sound like a narcissistic bitch, but I feel like I’ve earned the happy ending. Haven’t I’ve gone through enough? I just want move on to the next chapter of my life.

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7 Comments

Filed under adoption, Depression, Family, Home Study, Just my luck, People suck

7 responses to “I need to vent

  1. Ugh, so sorry! The waiting game has to be incredibly frustrating. And yes, you have earned the happy ending. I know you will get it!

  2. The homestudy etc islong..they kept telling us how fast ours went but we started in July and didn’t get the final approval until Octber! ( not fast to someone who feels like every day without her child is torture). As for the dinner…. Maybe I am a terrible person, but I’ve been saying no to these situations for a while now. Just be honest, “I’d really love to catch up, but it’s very painful for me to be around you when you’re pregnant”. Good luck with all of it!

    • I agree with this. When people announced pregnancies to me, I let them know that I would be keeping my distance to protect my heart. If they love you, they’ll understand.

  3. Not an awful person at all… just human. I hope your cousin would understand if you were honest with her. If that’s too difficult you could always come down with a terrible summer cold. But I’d go with honesty. The frustration you are feeling regarding waiting for your approval is also very normal and understandable. I cannot begin to imagine the anxiety it must cause. I really hope your agency steps up soon and puts your approval on the front burner! I’m surprised they said your wait could take that long… With your openness, at my old agency you’d have gotten your baby very quickly! I guess they have to say that in case it takes longer for some reason. But I’m sorry this part of the process is so frustrating. Hang in there and it WILL pay off.

  4. Aw that’s so frustrating! I hope it gets handled soon!

  5. Ok, few things. First off, I’m so sorry for the delay in the adoption process. All you’re feeling is completely normal and I wish there was something you could do to get them moving. Unfortunately, short of going to their office and propping yourself on their front doorstep, there isn’t a lot you can do at this point. Which really is too bad as one would think they’d want to get you out of this holding period. Hang in there and know I’m frustrated with you.

    Regarding your cousin, I will echo what others have already said: you are not an awful person. You’re just protecting yourself. I’m very certain that under different circumstances this would be a nonissue, but what you’re dealing with isn’t trivial. Honestly, I think you should drop your cousin an email saying that as much as you’d love to see her, circumstances have made it so you don’t think it will be possible this visit (which is the truth). Wish her a fun trip and leave it at that. Trust me, any unhappiness that may be caused will be far less and more forgettable than the trauma you would be putting yourself through. So take care of yourself first.

    Sending love and hugs, lady. May there be movement soon.

  6. Hang in there! You will soon be moving on to the best chapter of your life.. Some patience , I know sometimes we just want to throw the damn phone on their head, but calm down.. I hear your frustration….

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