Back when we started our adoption process I was discussing with a friend how I didn’t feel ready to buy any baby related items yet. She asked why since we were working on our home study which would eventually lead to a baby. I had to tell her that even though theoretically yes, that is how it worked out, that it was too soon to shop. Because in my mind I was in the first trimester.
I figured the whole thing out. Your home study / adoption application is the first trimester. You are on the path to a take home baby, yet is still very early in the process so you don’t really want to get too emotionally attached to the thought, just in case.
The second trimester is the matching process. You’ve passed the test and been declared sane enough to be a parent! Congratulations! This is the time when you can loosely start making plans. Some basic purchases are made but your house has not yet become a total baby zone. You now start feeling more comfortable with the fact that there will most likely be a baby coming into your home soon.
The third trimester – matched. You have been selected by a birth mom and now know that you will shortly be a parent. You know the gender (usually) and when the baby is due. You frantically make sure you have everything you could possibly need for the new little life that is on its way. You decorate the nursery, pick out names, and anxiously await for your child to be born.
Well my friends, for the first time in my life I am in the 2nd trimester. We have been approved by both states we are working with, as well as the adoption agency and are officially in the matching process. Honestly I’m a little confused as to how this goes. Everyone says “you’ll just know” when it is the right situation. But what if I don’t know? What if I pass up on an opportunity because I didn’t have ‘that feeling’. Or vice versa, what if I jump the gun and in my haste get involved in a situation that was not “the one”. How do you know by a two-line sentence (i.e. african-american male, due late September, Birth mom has used…blah blah blah) that the child is your baby? Yes we can get more information if we decide to show her our profile, but still…that is a big decision.
I know I should be excited, and I am, I’m also just overwhelmed by how this happens. Of course I also have the fear of what if we never get picked. Tomorrow I will be calling our case manager and hopefully she will be able to clear up some of this for me. To celebrate I picked up a brand new pack-n-play and a baby k’tan wrap from a local garage sale. I got an amazing deal on both, I actually kinda hurried away after buying the sling because I was afraid for the guy who sold it to me, when his wife finds out what he sold it for I’m sure she won’t be happy. But I sure am!
So adoptive parents. Tell me…how did you know?