It is hard to believe I am finally posting this. So many thoughts and emotions are running through my head. Right now I am sitting on a hospital bed with my sleeping daughter next to me. She was born yesterday at 2:28 pm. She was 6lbs 1oz and 18 1/2 inches long. A signed papers today relinquishing her rights and we are now baby girl’s guardians until she is 6 months old when the adoption is finalized. She is without a doubt the most incredible, beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want to, and will, write out her story but for now it is going to have to wait. I am also undecided about sharing pictures and her name here…as much as I want to. Seriously my finger is hovering over the add picture button because I want to show you all how amazing she is, but I need time to decide. Thank you all for the incredible support you’ve been for me the past few years. I am excited to share this new amazing journey with all of you soon.
Edit: So this is my 228th post and she was born at 2:28. I’m a nerd but this made me smile.
Today was my official last day of work. Which is extremely…surreal. I’ve had a job since I was 15 years old. The only time I didn’t was when I was in hair school but I was going to school 8-12 hours a day so it sure felt like a job. So the fact that I am done working for the foreseeable future is bizarre.
I’m very lucky that we are able to have me be a stay at home mom. It is something that we both feel good about and I am grateful that we have the means for me to stay home and take care of baby girl. I will be getting paid maternity leave for 6 weeks thanks to California State law (As will J!) and then I will be officially unemployed.
We will be heading out this weekend to make sure we arrive before baby girls arrival. Luckily we have family near where A is delivering so we will be able to stay with them before and after the baby is born. We will have to stay for around 2 weeks after the birth in order for Interstate Compact (ICPC) to grant us permission to take the baby to California. It will be great to have the help of my family those first weeks since we have no idea what we are doing.
We spoke to A again tonight and all seems to be going well. We were the ones who requested the phone call and apparently we freaked her out a bit. Usually the birth moms are the ones who initiate the calls but we just wanted to check in with her and make sure everything was going well. She thought that we were possibly backing out and it really made her worry. We assured her that we have no intention on backing out, that we are so excited and so ready for this little girl. Hopefully she feels better now that we’ve talked. I actually feel better knowing that she was so worried about us backing out. It just again reinforces to me that this is going to happen.
T minus 10 days till baby!
Thank you all so much for your support on my last post. It is hard to believe that it has only been a little over a week since we found out that baby girl is coming into our lives! It has been a whirlwind of a week trying to make sure we are prepared and getting all the legal stuff squared away.
Last night we had the opportunity to speak to A (birth mom) again on the phone. Again we were struck with how much we like her and what a strong person she is. She seems prepared for this and truly just wants the best life possible for her daughter. She loves hearing how excited our families are for baby girl to arrive. She keeps telling us to sleep up because we are getting an active one! Apparently she does somersaults all night long!
A had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and Baby girl is looking really good. Her heartbeat was 135 and A was dilated to a 2 already! This does make me concerned that she will go into labor early, before we get into town. Officially my last day of work is the 25th and we are planning on getting there on the 26th. However this is A’s third pregnancy and her first two came extremely early. At this point she is full term so there is no concern about complications, it would just be us driving frantically to get there. I’ve told my job at this point she could go into labor at anytime and that if I get a call at work, I’m out. Luckily they seem to understand.
The next few days will be all about getting ready for baby girl. Today I will be washing all her clothes and packing a bag filled with the essentials in case we have to grab and go. This weekend I bought her coming home from the hospital outfit. A tiny little dress with a cardigan that make my heart race every time I look at it. In 18 days or less my daughter will be wearing that dress. Insanity I tell you!
Some people have asked if we are doing an open adoption. Officially, our agency does semi-open adoptions. Meaning we agree to send letters and picture updates to A. However we have told her that we want her to be as involved as she wants to be. This will never be a typical open adoption as A lives across the country from us, so it is not like we will have to opportunity to see her often. However we would love for her to send pictures and letters to baby girl, and when she gets older we would also love for them to meet. We want to be as open as possible with baby girl about her adoption and where she came from. We also want her to understand that she was not given up because she was not wanted but because she was so loved and cared for.
One of the things I love about A is that she has such a level head about the whole thing. She told us she knows how hard this is going to be. But in the same breath she told us she is 100% committed and that she knows she is strong enough to do this. She has had 2 other children so she knows how it feels after you give birth with the rush of hormones. I know she loves this little girl. But she knows that love isn’t always enough. It takes an amazing person to realize this. How luckily baby girl is to be cared for so much!
It still doesn’t seem real. Even as I fold and pack this tiny baby clothes it is hard to imagine that by this time next month there will be a new little life in our home. Life is getting real folks. Just hoping I can keep up with it.
It’s hard to describe the emotions that have come over me in the past week. It has been a whirlwind of a week. We spent the past week and a half visiting my family which was so wonderful. It was so nice to relax and stop worrying about all the things that normal life brings. I felt so comfortable to be at home and surrounded by my family, I truly didn’t want to come home.
Since starting the matching process we were very cautious about moving forward to show our profile to Birth Mothers. There were a few situations that came up, but none of them felt right. 2 were preemies and another was in danger of a health risk that we did not feel comfortable with. Then came 2 situations that threw us for a loop. Both were due in the month of August (one being just 6 days after we found out about it) and both were healthy babies. One boy, one girl. The problem was they both came from other agencies, meaning the cost was higher as you had to pay both agencies.
It was a hard day for me. I felt very helpless as all the situations coming up seemed out of our reach. But my mom felt very strongly that we needed to show our profile to both of these birth moms, and she made it happen. My family is amazing and I am so lucky to have their support. So we did it, we told our agency to show our profiles.
Baby Boy was selected to go to another family. Something that we were fine with as he was the one due so quickly and that thought really overwhelmed us. Our profile was shown to the birth mom of baby girl on Saturday, yesterday we got a call that she wanted to speak to us over the phone. Oh. Em. Gee.
Guys, she is amazing. A (birth mom) was so articulate and so sincere in her reasons for placing baby girl with another family. She has overcome some incredibly difficult situations and it is amazing that she is now overcoming this one as well. We just…clicked. After the phone call was over the case manager (who was listening in on the call) told us that birth mom calls rarely went that well. She was amazed at how comfortable both parties seemed and how confident A was.
Less than 10 minutes later we got the call. The. Call.
Baby Girl is due August 30th and will be placed with us after she is born. This is actually happening.