Thank you all so much for your support on my last post. It is hard to believe that it has only been a little over a week since we found out that baby girl is coming into our lives! It has been a whirlwind of a week trying to make sure we are prepared and getting all the legal stuff squared away.
Last night we had the opportunity to speak to A (birth mom) again on the phone. Again we were struck with how much we like her and what a strong person she is. She seems prepared for this and truly just wants the best life possible for her daughter. She loves hearing how excited our families are for baby girl to arrive. She keeps telling us to sleep up because we are getting an active one! Apparently she does somersaults all night long!
A had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and Baby girl is looking really good. Her heartbeat was 135 and A was dilated to a 2 already! This does make me concerned that she will go into labor early, before we get into town. Officially my last day of work is the 25th and we are planning on getting there on the 26th. However this is A’s third pregnancy and her first two came extremely early. At this point she is full term so there is no concern about complications, it would just be us driving frantically to get there. I’ve told my job at this point she could go into labor at anytime and that if I get a call at work, I’m out. Luckily they seem to understand.
The next few days will be all about getting ready for baby girl. Today I will be washing all her clothes and packing a bag filled with the essentials in case we have to grab and go. This weekend I bought her coming home from the hospital outfit. A tiny little dress with a cardigan that make my heart race every time I look at it. In 18 days or less my daughter will be wearing that dress. Insanity I tell you!
Some people have asked if we are doing an open adoption. Officially, our agency does semi-open adoptions. Meaning we agree to send letters and picture updates to A. However we have told her that we want her to be as involved as she wants to be. This will never be a typical open adoption as A lives across the country from us, so it is not like we will have to opportunity to see her often. However we would love for her to send pictures and letters to baby girl, and when she gets older we would also love for them to meet. We want to be as open as possible with baby girl about her adoption and where she came from. We also want her to understand that she was not given up because she was not wanted but because she was so loved and cared for.
One of the things I love about A is that she has such a level head about the whole thing. She told us she knows how hard this is going to be. But in the same breath she told us she is 100% committed and that she knows she is strong enough to do this. She has had 2 other children so she knows how it feels after you give birth with the rush of hormones. I know she loves this little girl. But she knows that love isn’t always enough. It takes an amazing person to realize this. How luckily baby girl is to be cared for so much!
It still doesn’t seem real. Even as I fold and pack this tiny baby clothes it is hard to imagine that by this time next month there will be a new little life in our home. Life is getting real folks. Just hoping I can keep up with it.