Where to go from here

I’ve been having a really hard time with this space lately. Over the past 2 years this blog has been a source of comfort and strength for me, it has been here during the hardest moments of my life as a place where I could truly be myself. Once upon a time I posted because I wanted to. But now, I post because I feel I have to.

Honestly I think what is hard for me is seeing this space, which was once a place filled with the bitter reality of what it is like to go through infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, become a mommy blog.

There is NOTHING wrong with mommy blogs. I have another blog where I do post pretty much all things Muppet. But I feel like by doing that here I am taking away the essence of what this blog has been for me. Yes, it shows that dreams do come true, but it also can mask what it takes to reach those dreams. And one thing that is very important for me is to never forget where I came from. Infertility leaves a scar, and I don’t want to cover mine up.

So what am I saying? That I will never post here? No. Hardly. Because the reality for me is…I’m not done. J and I have talked extensively about the subject and as crazy as it seems…we want to try again. Not now. Right now I am enjoying the time I have with my sweet Muppet, but in my heart I know our family is not complete. Another adoption is still on the table, but honestly I don’t know if we could afford it. Financially or emotionally. I will write post about this another day though.

For now what I am saying is posts might be sparse. Because I need this to be a space dedicated to the cruel reality of building a family and all the pain that goes with it when dealing with infertility. So there will be posts, just not ones dedicated to my girl.

That being said there are a lot of you who have stuck with me through the past few years and that I know care about Muppet. So like I said, I do have another blog. However it is a very open blog with all my personal information in it. So I do want to be cautious with it. So if you want the link you can click on the About Me tab above. There is a contact form to fill out where you can request the link. ***PLEASE don’t be offended if you do not receive a response. I really didn’t even know how to post this here because I won’t be giving it out to everyone. But I also don’t know how else to go about this. This is a very personal blog so if I really don’t know you I hesitate to give it out. But a lot of you I do know. And you are all near and dear to my heart so I’d like to extend an invite to the blog if you’d like to follow along.

In short, I’ve come a long way in 2 years but now times are changing, and I need to do what I feel most comfortable with at this time. So stick around if you’d like, there will be posts and maybe even small updates on Muppet. But I know that for now a little break is needed.

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4 Comments

Filed under adoption, Baby Girl, Infertility, Living Life, Moving On, RPL

4 responses to “Where to go from here

  1. I’m guessing infertility never really leaves us… bummer. But for now, go enjoy your sweet little girl! We will be here when you need us!

  2. I can understand all this. Enjoy your time with muppet and your personal space. I will always pop over here if you write! 🙂

  3. Oh no… I don’t know you well but I have been reading for a long time, nearly two years. I know how you feel, though, because my “foster care” blog turned into a “baby loss” blog, and now it is basically a mommy blog. I love seeing that you have a precious baby now, and wish I could read all about your experience being a parent. I literally cheered out loud for you when you got her! But, it’s ok and I understand that your personal info is out there. Good luck!!!

  4. Of course you have my support, 100%. You gotta do what feels right for you. I’ll miss hearing about Muppet and you, but will always read what you have to say if/when you post. Take care of yourself, whatever comes next.

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