BOOM.

I barely know where to begin. This week has been…overwhelming. It as if someone, somewhere saw how comfortable and routine my life has become and thought “Hey, I’ll show her!”. Then BOOM. My world imploded.

I can’t even write about it all right now. I’ll have to do a few posts but I’m bursting at the seems to get this out.

Before Muppet was born I thought I’d never try for a pregnancy again. I was done, we were going to adopt our children and that was that. I’d gone through too much hope, pain, and loss to even fathom exposing myself to that again. But all that changed when she came along.

I don’t know what exactly happened. But watching her be born and hearing that first cry just touched my soul. And all the sudden I wanted to experience that again, but this time as a delivering mother. Of course I didn’t want it right away, I was far too focused on my perfect little baby and adjusting to becoming a mother. But I knew that we would try again.

When she was about 8 months old I decided it was time to start figuring things out. I got 2nd and 3rd opinions on my history. I saw a new RE and a doctor of maternal fetal medicine. They both said the same thing – they saw no reason why I shouldn’t be able to carry to term despite all my losses. I decided I was most comfortable with the MFM doctor as last time around I didn’t struggle with the getting pregnant part. She recommended we do baby asprin, metformin, and progesterone after ovulation. After I got pregnant we would take it from there and do everything we could to get us a healthy baby. It took a few more months to psych ourselves up for jumping back into this world. But last August, the month Muppet turned 1, I went off birth control.

I’ll save you the dramatics…I’m not pregnant. And I haven’t been since my ectopic pregnancy over 2 years ago. It seems that like before my surgery, I am once again infertile. Its been about 7 months. My cycles have been erratic at best. And surprisingly, I’m okay with it. Sure I’m slightly disappointed every time that my period arrives but it is nowhere near as bad as it has been before. I want the pregnancy, but I think I’m finally coming to the conclusion that it is just not in the cards for me.

So we started talking about another adoption. We figured we’d start the paperwork in the summer this year, take our time, find the right situation and hopefully have a new baby by the time Muppet turns 3. That is a whole year and a half away! I felt happy about this and became obsessed with the idea of another little girl. One who can wear all the cute clothes that Muppet only wore so briefly, with headbands that I adore. They would grow up close sisters, like I always wanted (I have 3 brothers). J said he didn’t care the gender but if I wanted a girl he was fine with that.

About 3 months ago something in my brain switched and all I wanted was a boy. Before that I think I had a bit of a mental block about boys. because I had always dreamed about giving birth to a son. And if I couldn’t do that, then I didn’t want one. But suddenly that didn’t matter. I knew we would only ever do 2 adoptions. The cost alone makes it too hard. So I wanted to experience one of each gender. Again, J said he didn’t care and if it was important that I have a boy then that is what we would do. (Major plus side of adoption is gender selection)

So last Tuesday I was dancing around the kitchen with Muppet while making dinner. She is becoming so fun to interact with and I just felt like life couldn’t get better. My phone started ringing and I glanced down at the caller id to see who it was. It was our social worker. My stomach dropped, although I wasn’t sure why. I hadn’t spoken to her since we had brought Muppet home as she deals with matches. I answered and she dropped the bombshell.

Muppet’s birth-mom is pregnant again and would like us to adopt the baby.

The shock of what she just said hit me and I start sobbing. Seriously guys, it was almost embarrassing. I was a wreck. And get this – it is a boy. Cue more sobbing. I told her I’d talk to J and let her know but in my heart I was already committed. I wanted this baby, Muppet’s brother.

Things have progressed quickly from there. They have had to since she is due June 22. We have so much to do it is not even funny. We currently don’t have a valid home study so I spent the week calling agencies to see who could get one done in a rush while not breaking the bank. I should be able to start the paperwork later this week (more on that later) and I’m hoping to get it completed by the first week of June which gives us a little bit of a grace period.

So yeah. We are doing this. We have a baby boy on the way. I’m still in shock.

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29 Comments

Filed under adoption, BABIES!, Birth Mom, Celebration, Family, Home Study, Infertility, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Trans-racial adoption

29 responses to “BOOM.

  1. Wow!!! Boom is right! Trisha this is amazing news!!! Am keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers during this time. And wow!!!!

  2. Ahhh Trisha this is such amazing news!!! That is such a blessing! Praying for you!

  3. Amazing news! Congratulations! What an incredible journey to your family. So excited for you!!!!

  4. Amazing. Obviously it was meant to be. So thrilled for you.

  5. veetamia

    Congrats!! What a blessing 🙂

  6. Oh wow. I have chills. This is amazing news! I am beyond happy for you all! You’ll be in my prayers that this works out!

  7. Oh wow! I love how your heart was being prepared for this before that call ever came, that you were already ready to accept that match. So excited that they called you and that it will work out for you to adopt from the same birth mom again! It sounds perfect! Congrats!

  8. I am happy for you Trisha, but the infertile part of me is pissed off at A. Seriously, she doesnt seem to be careful at all. Why get pregnant if you are soo unable to take care of the baby.
    Please let me aplogise if I havr hurt your
    Feelings, but thats just the bitter
    Infertile in me speaking. I know he is the perfect addition to your sweet family.

    • Trust me, the infertile in me has the same thoughts. Its hard because I’m obviously reaping the benefits yet I can’t understand how she let this happen again. I feel very mixed about that aspect of it.

  9. mlong3019

    Oh my goodness!!! Wonderful news!! Congratulations!

  10. That’s so amazing!!!! There are no words just huge smiles and lots of love for you and your growing family!!

  11. Oh my goodness! Congratulations!!

  12. 35life

    OMG! This is so wonderful! Congrats!

  13. Wow! That is quite a bombshell! What great news!

  14. OMG! What awesome news! Congratulations!

  15. WOW!!!!!!! Just…. holy cow!!!!

  16. Emily

    Oh my gosh!!! That is amazing news!!!

  17. Congratulations! This is very interesting timing, because we found out a week ago that our daughter’s birthmom is pregnant too. At this point she is planning to parent, but it hasn’t been very long since she placed our daughter, so we wonder whether she’s ready and will ask us to adopt this new baby. So we’re thinking of the logistics of preparing for that, in case she asks us. Do you have to pay the full adoption agency fees again? We are trying not to get too ahead of ourselves, but wouldn’t want money or paperwork to prevent our daughter from growing up with a biological half sibling! I’d be happy to email privately with you if you prefer to answer that way, but I would love to hear details as you move forward with this adoption! Thanks!

    • Yes, we have to pay full agency fees. She went to them first so we have no choice if we want the baby. The thing that is the biggest issue is that we don’t have a current home study so we are having to rush that process. And of course come up with the money. But we are working through those and it is going to be possible.

      I wish you the best of luck! If I were in your situation I’d also prepare just in case. Having a bio-logical sibling is something that we feel is going to be a big deal for Muppet down the road.

  18. JJ

    Wow — I have chills! So thrilled for you!

  19. OMG! I’m in tears right now, this is SO amazing! Yaaaaay!

  20. Emily Erin

    Congratulations! How wonderful for you and your expanding family!

  21. Woah. That’s major. Congratulations to you and your beautiful little family!

  22. Wonderful news! Thinking of you!

  23. Such amazing and wonderful news! I agree with some of the sentiments about the birth mom being able to conceive so easily feeling a little unfair but am so happy that her first thought was to choose you to receive this little boy. I’m not sure about all the legal and financial parts of adoption or how it all works but it was obviously always meant to be you that this little soul was meant for. I can’t wait to follow this exciting new journey your family is about to go on and am sending you all tons of love and good vibes.

  24. Tales of a Twin Mombie

    That is seriously so amazing!! Congratulations!!!! What an insane blessing!

  25. Oh wow! Congratulations! Having one of each is simply awesome. I wouldn’t have it any other day. I’ll be thinking of you as things move closer to June.

  26. Ahhhhhh! Fingers crossed that everything comes together easily for you, and my thoughts are with you and the expectant mom!

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