Category Archives: Home Study

Progress has been made

After months of trying to wrangle all our home study paperwork, we finally are making progress. Yesterday we had our couple interview and also J did his individual interview. Our agency has been so great about working with our schedules and let us knock out 2 interviews on the same day. While J was in his interview, Muppet and I took a little stroll to Wendy’s were I shamelessly fed my child french fries and 10 am and let her watch her tablet. 

Next Tuesday will be our actual home visit and my individual interview. From there she just has to write-up the report and we are done! I really like our social worker, she understands the time crunch we are under and has been incredible about making sure we are on an accelerated path. She told me she’d stay up all night to write the report if she had too, which I greatly appreciated.

This weekend we are FINALLY moving into our permanent home. After a month in temporary housing in downtown Seattle, I am more than ready to settle down into our lives. Our housing situation has honestly been a nightmare, but it seems like we have finally reached the end. We did however have the pleasure of meeting up with Cristy and her crew this weekend which was so much fun. definitely one of the highlights of our downtown experience. I’m so excited to be in my own space and have all our stuff back. I have about a million sewing projects I want to work on before the baby gets here and I’m really anxious to get going. We are also going to begin trying to potty train Muppet next week. I’d like her to at least have a basic foundation before Baby Boy arrives and she seems like she is ready. Wish us luck!

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Filed under adoption, Baby Boy, Home Study, Motherhood, Trans-racial adoption

March Madness

On Tuesday we turned in our home study paper work. FINALLY. We start our social worker visits next week and I couldn’t be more excited to get this home study done and behind us. We have been receiving regular updates from our birth mom and the adoption agency and everything with Baby Boy is good. It is coming down to about 9 weeks until he is here which is both incredibly exciting and absolutely terrifying.

As I was editing our Adoption Time line page (on the menu above) I started glancing at the whole time line to check out certain dates and check this out guys:

March 4th, 2013 – Turn in adoption paperwork for Muppet

March 4th, 2014 – Muppet’s adoption finalized

March 3rd, 2015 – We find out about Baby Boy.

Crazy right?!?! I also should mention that March 2nd 2013 was supposed to be my due date for my second pregnancy, but that isn’t a good thing to remember. So yeah.

But other than that it seems crazy to me that all these big events in our adoption history have happened almost exactly a year apart from each other. By next March our son’s adoption will have already been finalized and our family will be complete. I’m a big fan of simple things like this.

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Filed under adoption, Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Birth Mom, Home Study, Motherhood, Trans-racial adoption

Patience is not a virtue I possess

We have been very lucky with our adoptions. Muppet’s adoption took 9 months start to finish, including the home study. Not bad at all when you consider the national average is 2 years. 9 months seems perfect, just like a pregnancy! The main difference is though, that the time between when we were picked to be Muppet’s parents and the time she was born was only 4 short weeks. We rushed to get ready in that time, especially since I flew out a week early so really we only had 3 weeks to prepare our home for our new arrival.

It was a flurry of activity washing clothes, packing bags, setting up the nursery, and buying all the necessities. It was crazy but so exciting. I knew that I would finally be holding my baby in a months time and I still get butterflies thinking back on those weeks.

This adoption is so different for us. It honestly feels like we are doing everything backwards. We got ‘picked’ first, adoption agency papers second, and home study third. The exact opposite of how we did it last time. And then there is the part that has been the hardest for me: I still don’t have my baby. That may seem like a weird statement but we found out about Baby Boy the first few days in March. It has been a month now that we’ve been anticipating his arrival. At this point the first time around, I already had Muppet in my arms. So the thought that we still have around 2 and a half months to wait to meet our son seems so long to me.

Apparently I’d have a really hard time with a ‘normal’ pregnancy because I am not patient at all. I’m just so excited to meet him and hold him and love him. I already love him so much. We are 90% sure on his name and I’ve already purchased the outfit that he will wear home from the hospital. I’m just ready. Ready for him.

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We are somewhat settled in Seattle now although we still don’t have a place to live after the end of this month. It is all a work in progress. But J has started his new job and it has been even more than we hoped for. I’m turning in our home study paper work by the end of the week and we will be starting the social worker visits shortly afterwards. I know there are a few of you in the Seattle area so if anyone ever wants to meet up shoot me an e-mail! I’m feeling a little lost in our new home as I don’t really have a social group anymore. Plus I just love getting to put faces to the names that I’ve read for so many years.

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Filed under adoption, Baby Boy, Home Study, Motherhood, Trans-racial adoption

Microblog Monday: Jumping through hoops

Man, I had forgotten home much doing a home study sucks. In the midst of trying to coordinate a state to state move I am also trying to bang out all our home study paperwork so that as soon as we get to Seattle we are able to start with the social worker visits. J and I both have a 5 page form to fill out with ‘basic’ information about ourselves. But on top of that we both have a bibliography that is 14 pages long that we have to type up. 14 pages. I worked on it for over an hour last night and I’m still not finished. I mean I get that they need to make sure an adoptive family if going to be a healthy and happy home to place a child in and they need to make sure we are sane and all, but to be honest this process is making me a bit insane! I am just trying to focus on the fact that this is all a means to the end. In June I’m going to have a beautiful baby and this will all be worth it. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go answer more questions about my childhood.

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Filed under #microblogmonday, adoption, Home Study, Trans-racial adoption

After boom

Thank you all for your comments and congratulations! Although I haven’t been as present since Muppet was born I knew I could come to you all with this major change in our lives. I love this community so much and am so grateful for all the support.

I said in my last post that I couldn’t write about all that has happened in one post. Because yes, there is more. While all this was going on with the new adoption we were also coming face to face with some other major life changes. For awhile now we have been toying around with the idea of relocating. Our time in SoCal has been amazing. The people that we have met and who have become our family are truly some of the best people I’ve ever met in my life. While it is hard to think of leaving that kind of comfort we were feeling stagnant. So J started apply and this week caught the fish of our dreams.

At the end of this month we will be moving to Seattle, WA where J will be working for a major gaming studio. We are beyond excited. But adding a major move with all the adoption stuff is making my eye twitch with anxiety and stress. I started filling out paperwork for our home study today. We are working with a Washington agency who is able to get this done in a rush for us so we have every thing prepared before the baby comes. I’m frantically making calls all day trying to arrange physicals, finger printing, and anything we can plausibly get done before we leave Cali. That way as soon as we get to our new home we can start the social worker visits.

We haven’t announced anything about the baby on FB yet. We have quite a few people who know but for the most part we want to get settled in Seattle before we unveil that impending event. Plus I really want to do a picture of Muppet in a big sister shirt to announce. Since this is going to be my last (seriously.) baby I can’t help but really want to do that despite how annoying I’ve found it to be in the past. And right now I just don’t have the time to take that kind of photo the way I want it.

Luckily we have some great friends in Seattle and one of them just bought a house, so the house they were renting is available. We will likely be taking over their lease so that we can get a feel of the area before buying a home of our own. This takes my stress level down a bit as at least I don’t have to worry about rushing to buy a house just so we have a roof over our heads. I’m also going to be going to stay with my parents for a week so that Muppet and I are out-of-the-way for J and the movers. Trying to pack with an 19 month old is just too difficult so luckily our new company is paying someone to do that for us.

AGH. I have so much to do I almost don’t even know where to start. I’m just taking things one day at a time and reminding myself how lucky I am to be having all these amazing things happen for me.

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Filed under adoption, Family, Home Study, Motherhood, Moving On

BOOM.

I barely know where to begin. This week has been…overwhelming. It as if someone, somewhere saw how comfortable and routine my life has become and thought “Hey, I’ll show her!”. Then BOOM. My world imploded.

I can’t even write about it all right now. I’ll have to do a few posts but I’m bursting at the seems to get this out.

Before Muppet was born I thought I’d never try for a pregnancy again. I was done, we were going to adopt our children and that was that. I’d gone through too much hope, pain, and loss to even fathom exposing myself to that again. But all that changed when she came along.

I don’t know what exactly happened. But watching her be born and hearing that first cry just touched my soul. And all the sudden I wanted to experience that again, but this time as a delivering mother. Of course I didn’t want it right away, I was far too focused on my perfect little baby and adjusting to becoming a mother. But I knew that we would try again.

When she was about 8 months old I decided it was time to start figuring things out. I got 2nd and 3rd opinions on my history. I saw a new RE and a doctor of maternal fetal medicine. They both said the same thing – they saw no reason why I shouldn’t be able to carry to term despite all my losses. I decided I was most comfortable with the MFM doctor as last time around I didn’t struggle with the getting pregnant part. She recommended we do baby asprin, metformin, and progesterone after ovulation. After I got pregnant we would take it from there and do everything we could to get us a healthy baby. It took a few more months to psych ourselves up for jumping back into this world. But last August, the month Muppet turned 1, I went off birth control.

I’ll save you the dramatics…I’m not pregnant. And I haven’t been since my ectopic pregnancy over 2 years ago. It seems that like before my surgery, I am once again infertile. Its been about 7 months. My cycles have been erratic at best. And surprisingly, I’m okay with it. Sure I’m slightly disappointed every time that my period arrives but it is nowhere near as bad as it has been before. I want the pregnancy, but I think I’m finally coming to the conclusion that it is just not in the cards for me.

So we started talking about another adoption. We figured we’d start the paperwork in the summer this year, take our time, find the right situation and hopefully have a new baby by the time Muppet turns 3. That is a whole year and a half away! I felt happy about this and became obsessed with the idea of another little girl. One who can wear all the cute clothes that Muppet only wore so briefly, with headbands that I adore. They would grow up close sisters, like I always wanted (I have 3 brothers). J said he didn’t care the gender but if I wanted a girl he was fine with that.

About 3 months ago something in my brain switched and all I wanted was a boy. Before that I think I had a bit of a mental block about boys. because I had always dreamed about giving birth to a son. And if I couldn’t do that, then I didn’t want one. But suddenly that didn’t matter. I knew we would only ever do 2 adoptions. The cost alone makes it too hard. So I wanted to experience one of each gender. Again, J said he didn’t care and if it was important that I have a boy then that is what we would do. (Major plus side of adoption is gender selection)

So last Tuesday I was dancing around the kitchen with Muppet while making dinner. She is becoming so fun to interact with and I just felt like life couldn’t get better. My phone started ringing and I glanced down at the caller id to see who it was. It was our social worker. My stomach dropped, although I wasn’t sure why. I hadn’t spoken to her since we had brought Muppet home as she deals with matches. I answered and she dropped the bombshell.

Muppet’s birth-mom is pregnant again and would like us to adopt the baby.

The shock of what she just said hit me and I start sobbing. Seriously guys, it was almost embarrassing. I was a wreck. And get this – it is a boy. Cue more sobbing. I told her I’d talk to J and let her know but in my heart I was already committed. I wanted this baby, Muppet’s brother.

Things have progressed quickly from there. They have had to since she is due June 22. We have so much to do it is not even funny. We currently don’t have a valid home study so I spent the week calling agencies to see who could get one done in a rush while not breaking the bank. I should be able to start the paperwork later this week (more on that later) and I’m hoping to get it completed by the first week of June which gives us a little bit of a grace period.

So yeah. We are doing this. We have a baby boy on the way. I’m still in shock.

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Filed under adoption, BABIES!, Birth Mom, Celebration, Family, Home Study, Infertility, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Trans-racial adoption

Hi! I’m a drama queen

Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful comments on my post last night. They meant a lot.

I have officially calmed my ass down and now I feel like a huge drama queen. Last night I was feeling very emotional and vulnerable, so the whole situation seemed much worse and woe-is-me than it really is.

This morning I spoke with my adoption agency. I received 2 phone calls before 10 o’clock apologizing for the delay and with a perfectly reasonable explanation. They answered all my questions and put me back at ease with the confidence that our profile should start being shown within the next 2 weeks as long as J and I work our asses off on our scrapbook this weekend.

I also got an e-mail from our home study coordinator letting us know that the supervisor is signing off on the report tomorrow and then everything will be sent out to our agency. She verified the address that all the paperwork will be sent to so I am feeling confident that it will all be in the mail by the end of the week.

So yeah. Drama queen. Sorry about that.

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Filed under adoption, Crazy? I'm not crazy!, Home Study