We just got word today that they have scheduled our birth mom for an induction a whole week earlier than we had originally planned. 7 days which feels like both an incredible blessing as I am so impatient to meet our son, and also a curse because that is 7 days I just lost for getting ready. It puts us under an extreme time crunch for certain things like potty training Muppet (I’m planning on starting next week) and buying a new car. Our current car is a Honda 4 door. While perfectly adequate for everyday use and two car seats, it doesn’t work when we are planning on making long road trips as there is no space in the backseat for me to sit with the kids. We had been planning on getting a small SUV anyways for hiking purposes but originally we weren’t going to do so till after the baby. Now because of the scheduling change we will most likely be driving home after Interstate Compact clears which is a 12 hour drive (we will split it into 2 days). So any suggestions for a small SUV (think Toyota Rav4 or Suburu Outback) that has room in the backseat for 2 car seats and a mom? I also have some sewing projects that I desperately want to get done before the baby arrives. I am so excited to meet this little guy but there isn’t time for excitement right now. Be right back, must go have a panic attack.
P.S. On the bright side I already have his bag packed and it makes me want to squeal with joy to look at all those time clothes.
Right now we are in the middle of our move. Last Monday the moving company came and packed our whole apartment and carted it away. Since it takes 10-14 to get our stuff to our new destination we decided that we would fly to my parents home for a week so we wouldn’t have to try to entertain Muppet in an empty apartment. It has been great spending time with them and watching Muppet bond with her family. But there is a sense of displacement about it all. We are living out of suitcases and that is always tricky with an 18 month old.
But then to make matters even more fun, the house we were planning on renting fell through 2 days ago. Luckily J will be working for a large company that can put us in temporary (furnished) housing once we get to Seattle so that we have time to find a place to live, but since we are doing that all our stuff is going into storage. Had I known this would be the case I would have kept a few things with us such as our stroller. But nope, all of it is gone and I won’t see it until we find a permanent place to live. This is definitely not ideal. Not to mention we will continue living out of our suitcases for around another 4 weeks. While I’m grateful for the options we have as far as housing I do hate feeling like I don’t belong anywhere. I will be so grateful to be done with all of this.
Man, I had forgotten home much doing a home study sucks. In the midst of trying to coordinate a state to state move I am also trying to bang out all our home study paperwork so that as soon as we get to Seattle we are able to start with the social worker visits. J and I both have a 5 page form to fill out with ‘basic’ information about ourselves. But on top of that we both have a bibliography that is 14 pages long that we have to type up. 14 pages. I worked on it for over an hour last night and I’m still not finished. I mean I get that they need to make sure an adoptive family if going to be a healthy and happy home to place a child in and they need to make sure we are sane and all, but to be honest this process is making me a bit insane! I am just trying to focus on the fact that this is all a means to the end. In June I’m going to have a beautiful baby and this will all be worth it. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go answer more questions about my childhood.
During our struggle with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, my husband J was always there for me. He supported me, stayed with me when I became crazy and depressed, and let me cry on his shoulder. But I never felt that he wanted it the same way I did. I knew he wanted to be a dad but the trouble we were having didn’t seem to affect him the way that it did me. He often said to me “Yeah, I want a family but if it doesn’t happen I will be okay”. That was so different from me because I knew I wouldn’t be okay. I had to have kids.Since adopting Muppet he has often asked me if I’ve ‘gotten over’ my bitterness. I’ve told him that I have of course gotten better, but that I doubted I’d ever get over it. This is something he has never seemed to understand. Infertility is now deeply ingrained in my very being. It is part of who I am and that isn’t something that disappears.
Over the weekend we were in the car driving home from a family outing. Somehow the topic of this couple we know came up. To keep things anonymous I won’t say how we know them, just that they are very close to us. This couple has two children, both were conceived the first month they tried for them. They are very aware of the struggles we have gone through to have a family, yet despite how close we are I had to find out about their 2nd pregnancy via Facebook. It was very hurtful to me.
A few months ago J apparently got into a conversation with the wife about children which inevitably lead to her talking about her pregnancies. She complained about them. How hard they were, how much she hated being pregnant and how it was a bit of a burden how easily they got pregnant. Seriously. She said the to a guy whose wife has had 4 miscarriages. He told me about this conversation over the weekend, I had never heard about it before. And he told me that his first thought while she was saying all these things was “Trish would do anything to have the experience you have been lucky enough to have!” He didn’t say anything to her, because he didn’t want to turn it into a big deal but he told me how angry her comments made him as she knew how much we had been through to have a family.
The fact that he shared this frustration and anger with me, after all these years, made my love for him grow. He gets it you guys. He may not show his feelings about this kind of stuff easily and he may not be as bruised as I am but he gets it. He. Gets. It.
Last year on Halloween Muppet was nothing more than a cute little lump. I spent weeks making her costume really to no end. We got some cute pictures, took her to daddy’s work to show her off and then it was done. While I’m glad I did it, I knew this year I needed to be a bit smarter with my costuming.
Muppet has recently developed a hatred of anything on her head. If I dare to try to put something on top her cute little noggin she immediately rips it off. Do you know how hard it is to plan a Halloween costume that requires no head-gear? Very. However I finally decided on a lady bug. I even managed to wrangle some pipe cleaner around some of her hair to for antenna. Over all the costume was MUCH easier than last year, and we got a lot more use from it. We had 2 different Halloween parties with various mommy groups and then of course trick or treating, which was nothing more than her running around the mall at warp speed and us chasing her. She had no interest in stopping for candy.
It was fun. She is growing so quickly and we are getting to experience so many new things with her lately. Hope all of you had a pleasant and spooky holiday as well!
It is the truth that once you have kids stuff that focus’ on you (or your husband) suddenly becomes nothing more than an afterthought. Well, maybe not an afterthought, but definitely not as important as it was before.
You see, tomorrow is my husband’s birthday. The day after that is our 7th anniversary. Guess what I have done to prepare for these events…not much. I ordered a few presents for his birthday then suddenly realized how mediocre the whole thing was. I don’t want him to feel as though his birth or our anniversary is unimportant to me, because they aren’t, I’ve just been a bit distracted with Muppet’s many idiosyncrasies (another story for another time) lately.
So today I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to prepare for these events. I bought stuff to make some fun cupcakes for his office, I managed to find a few small gifts that he hadn’t requested, and I put together an idea for a simple anniversary gift. I’m exhausted. I used to be all into this kinda stuff now it has become a last-minute ordeal. I really need to work on that.
Pushing down on me, pushing down on you, no man ask for.
Ahem. I mean, yeah. Sorry but sometimes you just gotta give into the Bowie. Anyways, ever since Muppet turned one I’ve felt a lot of pressure about different things. 3 things in particular: Having a second child (recoil), taking away her pacifier, switching from bottle to sippy cup.
Let’s start with the later. Muppet doesn’t know how to drink from a sippy. My intelligent child who astounds many with her genius (Yup, I’m THAT annoying mom), can not figure it out. She can drink from a straw, but she can’t tip a cup to drink from it. Go figure. My doctor wants her off bottles by 18 months, meaning I have 5 more months to go. I’m already dreading it.
Pacifier. A hot topic for many. Right now I feel no need to take it from her. Blah blah, it can ruin her teeth, blah blah. Right now I don’t care. She needs it. She is very attached to it, especially when she is upset. It quails many the tantrums so I feel no need to end that now.
Another baby. People know we struggled, they know she is adopted, so why do they assume we can just go ahead and get another one? I mean I really want another one, but life isn’t simple like that. Leave me alone people!
As a new parent I’m assuming this is only the beginning with certain pressures and I have to tell you, I don’t handle it well.