After months of trying to wrangle all our home study paperwork, we finally are making progress. Yesterday we had our couple interview and also J did his individual interview. Our agency has been so great about working with our schedules and let us knock out 2 interviews on the same day. While J was in his interview, Muppet and I took a little stroll to Wendy’s were I shamelessly fed my child french fries and 10 am and let her watch her tablet.
Next Tuesday will be our actual home visit and my individual interview. From there she just has to write-up the report and we are done! I really like our social worker, she understands the time crunch we are under and has been incredible about making sure we are on an accelerated path. She told me she’d stay up all night to write the report if she had too, which I greatly appreciated.
This weekend we are FINALLY moving into our permanent home. After a month in temporary housing in downtown Seattle, I am more than ready to settle down into our lives. Our housing situation has honestly been a nightmare, but it seems like we have finally reached the end. We did however have the pleasure of meeting up with Cristy and her crew this weekend which was so much fun. definitely one of the highlights of our downtown experience. I’m so excited to be in my own space and have all our stuff back. I have about a million sewing projects I want to work on before the baby gets here and I’m really anxious to get going. We are also going to begin trying to potty train Muppet next week. I’d like her to at least have a basic foundation before Baby Boy arrives and she seems like she is ready. Wish us luck!
On Tuesday we turned in our home study paper work. FINALLY. We start our social worker visits next week and I couldn’t be more excited to get this home study done and behind us. We have been receiving regular updates from our birth mom and the adoption agency and everything with Baby Boy is good. It is coming down to about 9 weeks until he is here which is both incredibly exciting and absolutely terrifying.
As I was editing our Adoption Time line page (on the menu above) I started glancing at the whole time line to check out certain dates and check this out guys:
March 4th, 2013 – Turn in adoption paperwork for Muppet
March 4th, 2014 – Muppet’s adoption finalized
March 3rd, 2015 – We find out about Baby Boy.
Crazy right?!?! I also should mention that March 2nd 2013 was supposed to be my due date for my second pregnancy, but that isn’t a good thing to remember. So yeah.
But other than that it seems crazy to me that all these big events in our adoption history have happened almost exactly a year apart from each other. By next March our son’s adoption will have already been finalized and our family will be complete. I’m a big fan of simple things like this.
We have been very lucky with our adoptions. Muppet’s adoption took 9 months start to finish, including the home study. Not bad at all when you consider the national average is 2 years. 9 months seems perfect, just like a pregnancy! The main difference is though, that the time between when we were picked to be Muppet’s parents and the time she was born was only 4 short weeks. We rushed to get ready in that time, especially since I flew out a week early so really we only had 3 weeks to prepare our home for our new arrival.
It was a flurry of activity washing clothes, packing bags, setting up the nursery, and buying all the necessities. It was crazy but so exciting. I knew that I would finally be holding my baby in a months time and I still get butterflies thinking back on those weeks.
This adoption is so different for us. It honestly feels like we are doing everything backwards. We got ‘picked’ first, adoption agency papers second, and home study third. The exact opposite of how we did it last time. And then there is the part that has been the hardest for me: I still don’t have my baby. That may seem like a weird statement but we found out about Baby Boy the first few days in March. It has been a month now that we’ve been anticipating his arrival. At this point the first time around, I already had Muppet in my arms. So the thought that we still have around 2 and a half months to wait to meet our son seems so long to me.
Apparently I’d have a really hard time with a ‘normal’ pregnancy because I am not patient at all. I’m just so excited to meet him and hold him and love him. I already love him so much. We are 90% sure on his name and I’ve already purchased the outfit that he will wear home from the hospital. I’m just ready. Ready for him.
We are somewhat settled in Seattle now although we still don’t have a place to live after the end of this month. It is all a work in progress. But J has started his new job and it has been even more than we hoped for. I’m turning in our home study paper work by the end of the week and we will be starting the social worker visits shortly afterwards. I know there are a few of you in the Seattle area so if anyone ever wants to meet up shoot me an e-mail! I’m feeling a little lost in our new home as I don’t really have a social group anymore. Plus I just love getting to put faces to the names that I’ve read for so many years.
I’ve always hated April’s Fools Day, ever since I was young. I hate being the butt of other people’s jokes and I am far from a merry prankster. But infertility took my hate of this day to a whole new level. To be far social media is a huge part of the problem too. I dread waking up this day and opening up Facebook to see all the “joke” pregnancy announcements. Even though I knew they likely weren’t real, every single one of them was a punch to the gut. I never thought that anything would annoy me more but the past two years have proven me wrong.
My newest pet peeve about this day: People who make posts on April’s Fools Day telling people NOT to make fake pregnancy announcements.
My reasoning behind this is, at least from my experience, the people who make these posts saying how insensitive it is have absolutely no experience with infertility. Maybe this shouldn’t bug me but it really does. I mean it is good that people are starting to understand that infertility is extremely difficult emotionally, but it always seems like it is the ones who got pregnant ‘without trying’ that point this out. This almost feels like a double slap in the face to me. Is this completely irrational of me? I’m not sure that my anger even makes sense in my own mind. But whenever I see those posts I immediately feel rage boil inside of me.
So what do you guys think? Am I crazy here or is this a good thing that people are doing?
Right now we are in the middle of our move. Last Monday the moving company came and packed our whole apartment and carted it away. Since it takes 10-14 to get our stuff to our new destination we decided that we would fly to my parents home for a week so we wouldn’t have to try to entertain Muppet in an empty apartment. It has been great spending time with them and watching Muppet bond with her family. But there is a sense of displacement about it all. We are living out of suitcases and that is always tricky with an 18 month old.
But then to make matters even more fun, the house we were planning on renting fell through 2 days ago. Luckily J will be working for a large company that can put us in temporary (furnished) housing once we get to Seattle so that we have time to find a place to live, but since we are doing that all our stuff is going into storage. Had I known this would be the case I would have kept a few things with us such as our stroller. But nope, all of it is gone and I won’t see it until we find a permanent place to live. This is definitely not ideal. Not to mention we will continue living out of our suitcases for around another 4 weeks. While I’m grateful for the options we have as far as housing I do hate feeling like I don’t belong anywhere. I will be so grateful to be done with all of this.
Since Muppet was born I’ve had a lot easier time dealing with other people’s pregnancies. Although it no longer sent me into a spiraling pool of depression when someone announced they were expecting, there was still a small knot that formed in my stomach that was filled with jealousy. I still have a really hard time with things like ultrasound photos on FB, mostly because that is something I’ll never get. I’ve never seen an ultrasound picture of Muppet and I doubt I will see one of Baby Boy.
But something has changed for me since we found out we were going to be getting Baby Boy in a few months. Since then I’ve found out about 2 pregnancies, one a relative and one a friend. These are both people who have never gone through infertility and conceived pretty much right after they started trying. In the past this has felt so unfair to me and would take days if not weeks to get over. But do you know what I felt this time? Nothing.
Seriously. No knot, no jealousy, no pain. I felt happy for them and their growing families (both are expecting their second child). It as if the news of our second child’s arrival has eased that burden from me. We’ve already decided that we are only have two children so no there is no question on how our second child will come to us. That knowledge has set me free. For the first time in years I feel like infertility isn’t controlling my life. I sincerely hope it lasts because it feels amazing.
Man, I had forgotten home much doing a home study sucks. In the midst of trying to coordinate a state to state move I am also trying to bang out all our home study paperwork so that as soon as we get to Seattle we are able to start with the social worker visits. J and I both have a 5 page form to fill out with ‘basic’ information about ourselves. But on top of that we both have a bibliography that is 14 pages long that we have to type up. 14 pages. I worked on it for over an hour last night and I’m still not finished. I mean I get that they need to make sure an adoptive family if going to be a healthy and happy home to place a child in and they need to make sure we are sane and all, but to be honest this process is making me a bit insane! I am just trying to focus on the fact that this is all a means to the end. In June I’m going to have a beautiful baby and this will all be worth it. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go answer more questions about my childhood.